A Madge and Me and You

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2011

2011-02-11T23:15:00.263-05:00

We Madonna fans got a lot of hackneyed product this year, for sure. We got a perfume named Truth or Dare, a second Hard Candy Fitness Center (this time in Moscow), and of course more Macy's-based Material Girl clothes. What's next, a Ray of Light line of lamps?

We kid! We kid! If the foregoing was all Madonna did this year - and understandable as that may be with such an overstuffed 2012 on deck - we'd hang up our blogger pen and call it a year at that.

So, let's get serious.

"I Love New York" was featured on "Glee". David Guetta won a Grammy for his remix of "Revolver". Madonna has a new boytoy half her age named Brahim Zaibat.

Not enough? Okay, then, how about we get to the REAL Madonna year that was? Coming right up: a turgid twelve months of a woman that doesn't just rest on her laurels and think of goods to name after her famous song titles.

10. Madonna tapes Oprah's finale tribute episode (May 17). When the Queen of Talk said she'd be hanging up her mic, speculation about who her final guest would be was off the charts. How could Oprah possibly choose among all the world-class names she'd be accorded access to? It turns out, she didn't have to. The very final episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" starred only Oprah herself, speaking directly to her audience and viewers about what she had learned and hoped to impart over the show's 25 years on-air. The two penultimate episodes, then, were a staggeringly star-studded four-hour event shot at Chicago's 20,000-seat United Center and hosted by Tom Hanks. One huge surprise guest after another (Beyonce, Michael Jordan) was paraded out. And then, almost lastly, one surprise was introduced by Hanks as "a hard-working mother of four" from New York who considered herself an "ultimate viewer". Ladies and gentlemen, it was Madonna, who showered a visibly stunned Oprah with praise and even named Winfrey as her only living role model. The reunion of these two media giants capped a strong professional relationship dating back to 1996 (for Evita promotion) and carrying through Ray of Light and "The English Roses" eras to the adoption of David in 2006.

9. Madonna wows at Met Gala (May 2). After a disastrous homage to Donnie Darko at the same event two years ago, Madge brought the glamour to the annual Museum of Metropolitan Art's Costume Institute Gala Benefit. In her lovely pale blue Stella McCartney gown, she absolutely radiated stardom. Dubious assertion that she felt "fat" in the dress aside, Madonna kept it classy on the brink of a ton of high-profile red carpet trolling, bracing herself for the impending W.E. promo stroll. Make-up, hair and accessories done to perfection, belying her 52 years, Madonna all but eradicated her (considerable) fashion missteps. In fact, more than one commenter suggested Madonna's appearance here harked back to her youthful, romantic mid-'90s look. Note: that was 15 years ago. Give face! Beauty! Face! Face!

8. Madonna's lawyers go after Spanish fan for "Madonnaleaks" (December 21). Remember during the age of Napster when Madonna sprinkled into file-sharing networks audio files intentionally mislabeled as leaks from the Music album? Remember those files actually just had her saying "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" and then several seconds of silence? Remember how we all shook our heads and laughed? Well, in a time when the recording industry is still suffering, musical artists no longer find piracy a joke. So it was this December when Madonna sicked her lawyers on "one of Madonna's biggest fans", a resident of Zaragoza, Spain, who somehow released a demo of upcoming single "Gimme All Your Luvin" (at the time generally known as "Give Me All Your Love"). Via Guy Oseary, Madonna tweeted, "My true fans wouldn't do this. Whoever is responsible for this leak, we ask that you please stop!" It's difficult to determine when leaks are sanctioned - last year 's treasure trove of unreleased tracks had an air of authenticity, and Oseary commenting on the demo's warm reception underscored how commonplace intentional, word-of-mouth-building leaks might be - but, for Pete's sake, when Madonna kindly asks you to cease and desist, you just comply.

7. Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" is released (February 11). The lead single from the Lady-in-waiting's same-named album was certainly one of 2011's musical success stories: it debuted at Number One on the Billboard Hot 100 and sold over three million digital copies. But almost instantly upon release, Madonna was evoked. Specifically, "Express Yourself" was evoked. A lot. Some critics agreed with early listeners and noted the "unintentional" (sayeth Lady Gaga) similarities, suggesting how hard it must be to climb out of the shadow of a pioneer who seemingly did it all, sonically or otherwise. There was no official statement from the Queen (a study in homages - and no stranger to accusations of artistic theft - herself) on this issue, but she did quietly upload the "Express Yourself" video to her YouTube channel. A rumor even quickly spread that a re-release of the 1989 classic was being mulled. High road (mostly) taken, a diva showdown never materialized, but the brief whiff of bitchiness was unmistakable.

6. Smirnoff announces a Madonna-starring "dance celebration" (August 17). The summer press release declaring that Madonna was participating in Smirnoff's Nightlife Exchange Project at Roseland in the fall wasn't particularly headline-making on its own. To the contrary, it was almost - pardon the pun - dispiriting. (Another endorsement?!). What was most exciting about this partnership announcement was that it, with its mention of a competition for a slot in Madonna's crew, portended a tour in 2012. This was the first official confirmation of a tour (the first new one since 2008), which meant we could back into a first-quarter album release date. The event on November 12 was a velvet-rope night in NYC, with a mostly silent Madonna, who emerged from the stage in typically dramatic, club-thumping fashion, winnowing down twelve pre-selected finalists and choosing Lil' Buck of Memphis for the coveted spot. With album co-producer Martin Solveig teasing out throbbing, lyric-free club music from the DJ booth ("Is this a preview??") and Madonna finally leading the crowd with a few cheers from the recently leaked "Gimme All Your Luvin" ("Y! O! U! You wanna?"), fans were amped up for the new sound ahead.

5. Madonna signs with Interscope (December 15). When Madonna and Warner Bros. Records parted ways after 25 years and bajillions of dollars together, it was hard to imagine the Material Girl going back to the traditional multi-record pact days of old. And though she simultaneously consecrated her lucrative, multi-faceted 360 deal with Live Nation, after she fulfilled her obligations to Warner Bros. with Celebration in 2009, a new means of old-school distribution of the next album was still needed. Ultimately, the Universal Music-owned Interscope locked Madge in for three albums to the tune of a reported $40 million. Live Nation brokered the deal for its marquee talent and Interscope, where she will join the likes of Lady Gaga and WBR-defecting Van Halen. Whatever it takes to get that album out there, please!

4. Madonna's Super Bowl XLVI halftime performance is confirmed (December 4). On October 5, the website sbnation.com reported that for the first time since 2004, a solo female performer was taking the stage during the 46th Super Bowl halftime show on February 5 in Indianapolis. No stranger to this rumor, Madonna made no comment. Football fans scoffed and Madonna fans scratched their heads. Could it be? After the MTV-produced debacle featuring Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake and the FCC and a nipple piercing, the National Football League erred on the side of "oldies" acts like the Rolling Stones and Prince in recent years. Was Madonna considered "safe" now? Do drunk straight guys want to see this? It all seemed unlikely ... until it wasn't. On December 4, it became official. The NFL broadcasted an announcement during one of its games with a spot that gave any true Madonna fan goosebumps ("One legend is taking the field for the first time ever."). Later on, it was revealed that she was teaming with Cirque de Soleil, ascending pop star Nicki Minaj and raptress M.I.A. for what is always the largest televised event of the year. It will be, by far, Madonna's largest audience ever. The rumored setlist is chock full of her standards (as of now, supposedly "Holiday", "Music", "Ray of Light", "Vogue") with her new single leading off. Good luck, Madge, and, we beseech thee, no wardrobe malfunctions.

3. Boy George tweets that Madonna is in the studio with William Orbit (July 31). We hate to credit the man who once called Madonna "a vile, hideous, horrible human being with no redeeming qualities" with breaking perhaps the biggest Madonna-related news of the year. But being that that she would allegedly be re-teaming with Ray of Light producer William Orbit, we'd have gladly believed even the most pathological of liars; we just needed it to be true. Much of Madonna's late-'90s and early-aughts work with "Billy Bubbles" is indisputably among her best (and certainly her most Grammy-winning) and fans have been clamoring for a return to form after some post-Orbit critical and commercial stumbles perceived in 2003's American Life, 2008's Hard Candy and 2009's Celebration. (Consensus dictates that 2005's Confessions on a Dance Floor gets a pass.) While it has become clear Orbit would be sharing producer duties with a few others, anticipation remains exceedingly high. No pressure.

2. Raising Malawi nixes Academy for Girls amid financial woes and management shake-up (March 24). She herself once sang, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Madonna now knows that better than anyone. Raising Malawi, her pet charity, nearly imploded in the wake of a scandal involving serious allegations against some executives. Madge and Guy Oseary briskly stepped in as part of a caretaker board but $3.8 million allocated for the Academy for Girls had already been squandered, killing the project. Was the charity now being investigated by the FBI? Were Raising Malawi employees now suing Madonna personally? Would Madonna abandon the impoverished country from which she adopted two of her children? Madge flack Liz Rosenberg issued a statement on April 5 to dispel some of the rumors, and a settlement was reached with disgruntled ex-employees who sued for wrongful termination and bristled at an onerous proposed confidentiality agreement. These setbacks will not daunt Madonna, who has committed to staying in the country and helping out, suggesting perhaps building many schools throughout the country. But did the drama help to put doubts in Madge's mind about her cherished faith Kabbalah, which has at least some peripheral influence on Raising Malawi? In April, there was talk that Madonna was considering converting to the ultra secretive Catholic sect Opus Dei. To no one's surprise, that wasn't true. Madonna is, for now, staying the course and is likely, due to these tribulations, more committed to her faith than ever.

1(b). The infamous "hydrangea video" goes viral (September 6). While promoting W.E. (see #1(a) below) at a Venice Film Festival press conference, our dear icon, when presented with a bunch of flowers, was captured on camera indelicately making faces and on mic saying the now-classic "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas". Almost instantaneously the video got widely disseminated on the internet, triggering millions of eye rolls and electrifying the haters. To her credit(?), Madonna gamely released an oddly unapologetic response days later. But the damage was done. That the "fan" was later revealed to be an Italian prankster did little to staunch the knee-jerk "Madonna is a thankless witch" vitriol. Hydrangeagate was "gotcha" pop journalism at its finest and, for Madonna fans always on the defense, most cringe-inducing.

1(a). W.E. premieres at the Venice Film Festival (September 1). If for nothing else, the official unveiling of Madonna's second directorial effort was a huge relief in that the film was, after several false starts and bad buz z, finally out in the world, removing any further roadblocks for the star to enter the recording studio. Less cynically, the movie, about the controversial love affair between Wallis Simpson and the Prince of Wales in the 1930s, was hailed as an ambitious, immaculately costumed and sumptuous piece of filmmaking, even if reviews were decidedly mixed-to-negative. Madonna's passion project has garnered magazine covers and a slew of M interviews. It was also nominated for two Golden Globes, including one for the Madonna-penned back-to-soundtrack-form "Masterpiece" (a collaboration with William Orbit), a song that was eliminated for Academy Award consideration due to a music cue technicality. (No possibility of a third amazing Oscar telecast performance? Heads should roll.) The film will officially be released in early 2012, during a period of colossal symbiosis with the Super Bowl, the new album and details about the tour. Happy New Year, indeed!

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2010

2011-01-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

The Madonna brand, in both the literal and figurative senses, seemed to be this year's dominant theme, from a passive investment in coconut water to more aggressive marketing in apparel and fitness clubs, to the expected musical accomplishment: tying with Bob Dylan with 19 Top Ten albums (by way of Sticky & Sweet Tour CD/DVD, released in March), 11 albums shy of Barbra Streisand's perch.

True, a majority of 2010 found Madonna toiling away on her second feature film as director, set for release in 2011. But our London and New York-minded gal still bookended a typically crammed year by extending her presence (and presents) on other continents like South America (a sojourn to Carnival in Rio, the final throes of the Jesus Luz Affair) and Africa (laying the foundation for the Raising Malawi Academy for Girls, snagging a VH1 Do Something Award, playing Santa - and presumably not "Santa Baby" - for needy orphans).

With Madonna nearly everywhere, it's quaint knowing that there is at least one place, for now, that you definitely won't permanently see her name. This summer's delicious gossip upped the ante on the evergreen Vegas rumor by alleging Madge turned down a staggering $1 billion, five-year residency gig in Sin City.

Fat chance of "Madonna at Caesars" in the foreseeable future, but, hey, you never know, especially after skimming her wild year in the rearview mirror:

10. Hard Candy Fitness opens in Mexico City (November 29). For at least the past 14 years, since Madonna entered her Ray of Light-era yoga phase, talk of her body has nearly eclipsed her body of work. So it's only natural that Madonna, in a branding-heavy year, would link up with New Evolution Ventures to launch a chain of high-end, state-of-the-art fitness centers. First stop: Mexico City. Next stop: Moscow. At the Mexico City launch, Madonna walked the red carpet, cut the ribbon and then changed into workout clothes and led a dance class for inaugural members. While you may never get into as good as shape as Madge, you may be inspired to your utmost by the watchful gaze of the artful Madonna likenesses festooned about.

9 . Liz Rosenberg leaves Warner Bros. (February 23). Ain't no other flack like Liz. And so when one of the most well-known publicists in the biz parted ways with her record label home after several decades of service (as Madonna herself did in 2007) to form Liz Rosenberg Media, it was a no-brainer that one of her top clients would remain the walking newsmaker that is Madonna. Liz fields nearly every press inquiry, dispels rumors left and right, and has been a confidante of the megastar for longer than Lady Gaga has been alive. At times understandably prickly, but always efficient and humorous, the ever-busy Liz, nearly a single-monikered industry personality in her own right, was perhaps best put to somber use for M this March with the announcement that Madonna's former manager, Caresse Henry, had died in an apparent suicide. We look forward to plenty of happier news next year, Liz.

8. Madonna rides the NYC subway (September 8). And now for the year's biggest "Madonna WTF?" moment: Some New York commuters - and intrepid paparazzi - were taken aback to see Madonna herself on an actual Brooklyn-bound subway train filled with actual people. Had the Great Recession finally stung M's bank account? Had she fully committed to eco-friendly travel practices? No, don't worry about her economic well-being - or credit her with going totally green. She was doing prep for her feature film and scouting locations and eyeballing potential shots. Biggest clue that this was an anomaly and the Material Girl does not, in fact, regularly use mass transit: she grasped the subway pole with her bare hand. Ew.

7. Madonna appears on "The Marriage Ref" (March 11). Madonna did buddy Jerry Seinfeld a solid with a winning performance on his execrable show, a novelty throwback featuring a rotating celebrity panel dissecting "real people's" marital issues. Madonna's fellow judges were comedians Larry David and Ricky Gervais, and the trio - who were bemused as to how they found themselves in such an odd format show - lobbed biting bon mots at the via-satellite contestants ... and each other. Madonna, an uncharacteristically relaxed good sport, held her ground against the formidable quipsters and delivered some of the hour's sassiest zingers. Best line that made the broadcast: To Larry David with hand on hip, "You can't handle a woman who stands up to you." Best line that didn't make air: To host Tom Papa regarding an emasculated husband contestant of dubious sexuality, "Ask him if he's ever been to one of my shows."

6. Eight leaked outtakes and demo tracks hit the internet (September 7). Madonna fans didn't get any official new music this year but could console themselves with nearly an album's worth of previously unheard tracks, recorded over the span of several years and ostensibly intended for albums ranging from Ray of Light to last year's Celebration. Late summer proved a veritable breeding ground of leaked goods, providing download-happy Madonnaphiles a cornucopia of tunes (an ABBA cover here, a Justin Timberlake techno-ballad there). While we won't lavish praise on any particular tracks like we (prematurely?) did with "Revolver" last year, standouts include the "Sorry"-esque banger "Broken" (reportedly discarded from Celebration) and urgent, playful "Animal" (Hard Candy), and "Pala Tute" (Hard Candy) demonstrated Madge could still effectively exploit the Romani refrain she mined for Live Earth and Sticky & Sweet's "La Isla Bonita" reinterpretation. Now how about an official one-off single to tide us over until the next album is recorded?

5. Material Girl fashion line debuts (August 3). Forget the luxe sunglasses collection spawned by Madge and D&G in May. The real noteworthy joint venture involved Madonna and Iconix, which licensed her name and, with the creative aid of a 13(!)-year-old Lourdes, traded on her considerable fashion awareness to create and sell exclusively through Macy's a teen-targeted line of clothing and accessories. No shock, then, when Macy's, the second-largest department store chain in the U.S., reported third quarter earnings that exceeded analysts' predictions by a whopping 6.6%. Obligatory controversy footnote: Madonna was sued over use of the "Material Girl" name by rival manufacturer LA Triumph. Regardless of whether or not this is a valid claim, expect a settlement; not for nothing did Madonna re-embrace a 25-year-old nickname she had famously eschewed.

4. Madonna speaks out against bullying on "Ellen" (November 9). There was such a tragic critical mass of teen and young adult suicides this past year that many big names took the initiative to condemn violence against perceived LGBT youth. For her part, self-described "outsider" Madonna did a remote sitdown with Ellen Degeneres for the latter's eponymous gabfest. In a compelling interview that mercifully skirted any of the usual ham-fisted talk show self-promotion, Madonna tipped her hat to the gay community (without whom, she confessed, she'd have no career) and expressed her agitation not just through her eloquent words on the celebration of differences and curbing gossip but by her body language, looking genuinely devastated and torturing a rolled piece of paper with actual hand-wringing. For critics who felt her May statement against the imprisonment of an engaged gay couple in her beloved Malawi was too little too late, perhaps this was ample balm in a watershed year for gay rights.

3. Madonna is named one of Time magazine's 25 Most Powerful Women of the Past Century (November 18). Eleanor Roosevelt. Indira Gandhi. Marie Curie. Coco Chanel. Margaret Sanger. Corazon Aquino. Golda Meir. Angela Merkel. Rosa Parks. Margaret Mead. Julia Child. Martha Stewart. Jane Addams. Oprah Winfrey. Hillary Clinton. Gloria Steinem. Rachel Carson. Aretha Franklin. Sandra Day O'Connor. Jiang Qing. Margaret Thatcher. Virginia Woolf. Estee Lauder. Mother freaking Teresa. And ... Madonna? According to Time, these important female figures "most influenced our world." Amen.

2. Madonna performs "Like a Prayer" during "Help For Haiti Now" telethon (January 21). Madonna watchers are forgiven for feeling anxious about their girl singing on the global stage. After all, we got a well-intentioned but wobbly rendition of "Imagine" on the telethon held for victims of 2004's catastrophic Indian Ocean tsunami. Subsequent sets at 2005's Live 8 (combating poverty) and 2007's Live Earth (eco-awareness) got increasingly better and yielded some classic performances. With only one song slot in this crowded multi-network fundraiser for earthquake-crippled Haiti, Madonna had to knock it out of the park. Going acoustic and, as required of "Prayer" performances, backed by a choir, Madonna acquitted herself more than adequately. She pared down the showmanship and delivered an earnest and affectingly imperfect three and a half minutes. Maybe Alicia Keys or Mary J. Blige garnered most raves of the 19 musical performances, but that Madonna X Factor on display was decidedly critic-proof and proved a strong iTunes performer (i.e., it made money for the charity, the reason for the whole shebang in the first place).

1. "The Power of Madonna" episode of "Glee" airs (April 20). A synergistic blend of music and television turned out to be Madonna's greatest triumph of 2010 ... and she didn't even have to do anything but authorize use of some of her songs. One of the buzziest shows of the 2009-2010 season was created by Madonna fan Ryan Murphy. Murphy built an entire episode of the high school-set musical dramedy around Madonna, integrating many well-known songs under the guise of a threadbare M-as-empowerment theme. A pre-release of Emmy winner Jane Lynch's Sue Sylvester replicating the "Vogue" video shot-by-shot went viral before the premiere of the highly-touted "Power of Madonna" episode. Predictably a Nielsen bonanza for Fox, "Glee" and its first-ever exclusive tribute was watched by millions of viewers. Those viewers, again predictably, then ran to buy the EP of the episode, which rocketed to #1 on Billboard with over 100,000 units sold in its first week. Collateral effects included a triple-digit sales increase of the Madonna catalog and a resurgence of greatest-hits package Celebration. None of this was just a happy accident, of course. It was a brilliantly calculated scheme to extend the brand (here we go again!) for youngsters not normally steeped in Madonna. "Glee" later used the template of single-artist episodes (e.g., a Britney Spears focus) but Madonna was first out of the gate with this pop culture phenom, setting the bar high yet again for those that dare follow.

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2009

2010-01-01T00:00:00.006-05:00

Madonna fell off a horse.

A nude shot of her caused a commotion.

Letterman engaged her in a fizzy chat.

She was protested, boycotted, and booed while on tour.

Quick: What year was it?

The Madonna Meta Machine chugged along another year, and you're forgiven for losing a sense of regularity. Her rare gift of perennial resurrection and reinvention assured that, even in comparatively low-wattage 2009, fresh M news blended with Groundhog Day-ish stories familiar, creating a stream-of-consciousness media cocktail of Madonna lore.

To keep us on track, and in furtherance of her various interests - music, fashion, charity, sexual politics - Madonna was of course at the reins. As she closed out another decade - her third in the superstar stratum - we were reminded of all the irons this lady's got in the fire.

10. Madonna purchases $40 million townhouse in Manhattan's Upper East Side (April 19). Recession? What recession? All but ditching her storied Central Park-adjacent Upper West Side digs, Madonna flexed her financial muscle and gobbled up a double-wide residence on East 81st Street in a record-shattering real estate deal. Why pine for an English manor when you can recreate one across town? Forget that the subway rumbles underneath or that the neighborhood is a smidge less glamorous. The garage! The garden! The wine cellar! The 26 (!!) rooms! You can take the girl out of London ...

9. "Celebration" video celebrates Madonna fans (September 11). The video for the Grammy-nominated title track off Madge's third greatest hits compilation was briefly of interest for its cameos by boytoy Jesus Luz and an eerily mini-me Lourdes ... and nothing else. The real innovation surfaced several days after its debut when the "fan version" of the official video premiered. Featuring cutaways to dozens of Madonna followers - gays, girls, trannies, et al. - who responded to Barcelona and Milan casting calls to don their best Madonna garb and bust out their favorite moves, the video represents Madonna's first true nod to her rabid base in all its tacky, silly, and, yes, joyous glory.

8. "Hung Up" and "Music" make Rolling Stone's 100 Best Songs of the Decade (December 10). End-of-annum lists are, ahem, nothing new, but in the special case of 2009 turning into 2010, we we were treated to a slew of millennial best-ofs ranking achievements since 2000. Considering the sheer number of tracks, genres, and artists jockeying for listeners' favor over the past ten years, it is no easy feat to land on the premiere populist music magazine's end-of-decade roll call of the aughties' greatest songs. It's then gratifying to see not one but two of Madonna's biggest recent hits and best-produced songs - "Music" (#66, released in 2000) and "Hung Up" (#76, 2005) - recognized as modern classics. Especially for a decade during which time and again the Queen of Pop's career was supposedly "over".

7. Madonna appears with Lady Gaga on "Saturday Night Live" (October 4). Well, at least she looked good. The overhyped "SNL" skit centered on a "Deep House Dish"-set feud between Madge and that week's musical performer Lady Gaga, who this year has indisputably surpassed Rihanna and Britney in the race to become the mythical "next Madonna". Leaked dress rehearsal footage suggests the live performance fell apart pretty early on, as the musicians' comic timings and line deliveries didn't connect at all, underscoring the fact they weren't given good material to work with. (As if Madonna doesn't know what a "disco stick" is!) But, hey, credit where credit is due: For the first time since 2003's drop-in on "Will & Grace", Madonna tried to show her sense of humor on network television ... while also demonstrating she's cool with the talent who's hot on her heels.

6. The second leg of Sticky & Sweet kicks off in London (July 4). The top solo concert tour of all time added over $220 million to Live Nation's coffers in the first-ever extension by Madonna of one of her (eight) tours. The slightly altered show - featuring some setlist changes ("Heartbeat", "Borderline", and "Hung Up" were replaced by a postmodern "Holiday", a rocking "Dress You Up", and an updated "Frozen", respectively), costume tweaks, and an ad hoc medley to honor recently-passed Michael Jackson - made 27 dates throughout Europe and culminated on September 2 in Tel Aviv, Israel. There were the expected slew of protests, as noted above, as well as a canceled show in Slovenia and true tragedy: a stage collapse in Marseilles, France that claimed two lives. Backstage drama aside, the mammoth undertaking will live forever on DVD, scheduled to be released in 2010.

5. Madonna delivers Michael Jackson tribute at VMAs (September 14). When Madonna is rumored to open the MTV Video Music Awards, there is cause for excitement. But with the sudden loss of Michael Jackson on June 25, this was no ordinary year, and Madonna's VMAs appearance was not met with the usual excitement as much as a melancholic realization that we were in for a downbeat yet cathartic lecture from a living legend regarding a fallen, sometimes misunderstood peer. [Chills!] Her look echoed that of her 1995 VMAs appearance, and the speech that of her Princess Diana statement in '97, but the self-penned words Madonna spoke about her friend and fellow icon were anything but stale. Sources at rehearsals earlier in the day confirmed that Madonna's rigid delivery was a defense mechanism to an emotional breakdown during her first run-through. R.I.P. MJ.

4. Malawi judge rejects Madonna's adoption bid for Mercy (April 3). In June, Madonna ultimately won her second adoption of a child from Malawi, a three-year-old girl named Mercy James. So it's okay to look back in retrospect and gasp, "Holy cow! Can you believe someone actually said 'no' to Madonna?" Somehow, we all just knew it would work out, but the shocking denial, couched in language purported to protect the nation's children from possible trafficking, didn't instill confidence. It was also, of course, a sobering event for Madonna. She reportedly set aside a plot of land for a potential home in the nation (to refute the superficial reason for the initial denial: her lack of residency), and stepped up her philanthropic efforts, both in Malawi and in Italy. Cooler heads - and Madge's instant appeal - prevailed, and Mercy was Stateside before Sticky & Sweet returned over the summer.

3. "Revolver" single is released (December 14). While the title track from Celebration got the lion's share of the promotional rollout and became Madonna's 55th Top 100 hit and 40th #1 dance hit (breaking her own record), one of the other two new tracks on the compilation is poised to become an everlasting fan favorite akin to less-heralded fare of yore like "Impressive Instant", "Nothing Fails", and "Let It Will Be". And with all due respect to "Die Another Day", "Revolver" is like the Bond theme that could have been, a sexy and gritty song with a killer (sorry!) hook and chorus. Electrobeats and thumping bass ricochet (oops!) around innuendo-laden come-ons likening foreplay to gunplay. Even Lil Wayne's "duet" rap doesn't sound phoned in a la Kanye. Thanks to this, Madonna, we might not all die happy but at least we can enjoy one of your very best recent songs along the way.

2. Madonna wears, uh, something interesting to Met Costume Institute Gala (May 5). She rang the New Year in with a series of sumptuous Lo uis Vuitton ads for the spring and summer seasons. Everyone seemed excited by the corroboration, especially when word got out that a second set of ads would be released in June. But then Madonna appeared at the annual Met Costume Institute Gala benefit wearing ... that. (And the Photoshopped-to-the-hilt second set of ads followed suit.) Look, if the goal of outre fashion is to simply get people talking - even if that means securing a place on nearly every Worst Dressed list known to mankind - then, well done, Madge. No press is bad press, right?

1. Madonna stars with Jesus Luz in W photoshoot (Feb. 9). During her Brazilian leg of Sticky & Sweet in late '08, Madonna went and got herself a souvenir of the country. His name is Jesus Luz, and he has been her man-panion ever since. (Madonna and Jesus? It couldn't have been scripted better.) The cougarific Madonna, at 50, knew what folks would say when she hired the aspiring 22-year-old model to pose with her in a steamy spread shot by frequent collaborator Steven Klein. Before the issue was even released, tales of the new Mrs. Robinson and her protege were circulating madly. Throughout 2009, the couple(?) vacationed, attended kabbalah services, and withstood marriage rumors. Perhaps still smarting from her recent divorce, Madonna wasted no time in tacitly communicating to the world that she was desirable at any age. And as the decade drew to a close, the two were frequently spotted out together in NYC, where Jesus had relocated to, among other things, stoke his DJ career. Bless.

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2008

2008-12-12T08:00:00.017-05:00

It was by no means a bold prophesy to predict that we'd have an embarrassment of Madonna riches on our hands this past year.

With her countless projects and exhaustively crammed 2008 schedule, from "Heartbeat" to heartbreak, the most famous woman in the world didn't fail to keep her name bouncing around the zeitgeist, notwithstanding a turning-point American election, a global economic crisis, and the unabashed headline-sucking of interchangeably wannabe starlets.

The media couldn't get enough Madonna, even in the (rare) times this year when it seemed like flying under the radar was her M.O. Whether it be a paparazzi fest in the Mumbai slums at the tail end of her long Indian vacation, feverish reportage of a Marilyn Monroe historian's confusion of Sex-era Madonna and her onetime muse, or the pile-on of bad buzz during preparations for the Sticky & Sweet Tour - least of which was the almost-too-perfectly-timed release of "estranged" brother Christopher Ciccone's poison-penned book - the line between sanctioned product and leaks from within the Great Madonna Media Dam became increasingly blurred.

So much happened in the world of Madonna, in fact, that no less than her seventh career Grammy (for The Confessions Tour DVD) is but a minor historical footnote of the past twelve months. The woman had a lot going on.

The following ten events best illustrate what made up the significant signposts of a busy time for the busiest lady, Madonna '08:

10. Madonna hosts UNICEF/Gucci fundraiser (February 6). It's redundant at this point in her career to use the word "controversial" with anything associated with Madonna. Sure enough, some critics sniped that her co-promoted gala fundraiser - with proceeds going to Raising Malawi and UNICEF - was a front for Kaballah and Madonna's eyebrow-raising spiritual endeavors. Others, concerned that the party smacked of commercialism with its direct tie to the Italian fashion house, claimed the head-spinningly star-studded affair - which attracted the upper echelon of the A-list (Tom Cruise, Jennifer Lopez, Gwyneth Paltrow) - violated U.N. ethics rules by being held on the organization's grounds. The bash took place as scheduled and, all told, raised $5.5 million for the causes, a rousing charitable success that silenced her detractors. Later that month, an emboldened Madonna again channeled her inner event-planner, this time on a decidedly more earthly plane, and filled the party circuit void created by the recently-ended writers' strike. Her hush-hush February 24 post-Oscar bash, co-hosted with Demi Moore and held on manager Guy Oseary's L.A. property, enlivened the picket-ravaged town for one brief, shining, ultra-exclusive night. Madge and Demi wore matching golden Diane von Furstenberg gowns and served absinthe to the talent-heavy throng of elite guests. After a winter of organizing such high-wattage events, it's clear that if that whole music thing doesn't pan out, Madonna now has an alternate career - party promoter! - on which to fall back.

9. Filth and Wisdom premieres at the Berlin Film Festival (February 13). There is an old Hollywood truism that goes, "Whatever Madonna wants to do, Madonna does" (see: Dick Tracy, Evita, Swept Away). Back in 2006, Madonna repeatedly said she wanted to helm a film. And so it was. After revealing her intention to direct, she did indeed realize her vision. Defying those who shrugged off what they perceived as mere narcissistic rhetoric, Madonna got down to business. She co-wrote a story, put together financing, and installed herself as the lenser. The resultant labor of love is a semi-autobiographical ensemble piece starring Eugene Hutz (of Gogol Bordello and Madge-at-Live Earth fame) that was shot in and around London throughout 2007. The few reports from the set that did trickle in were predictably not kind toward our budding auteur, perhaps foreshadowing the project's fate. But not before a glimmer of hope had emerged: After evolving through development from a short to a full feature, the film saw the light of day at a splashy first screening at the 58th annual Berlin Film Festival, the reputable global birthplace for such titles as Rain Man and Sense and Sensibility. The main draw for Filth and Wisdom was of course its hugely famous director, who gamely walked the red carpet and participated in a Q&A panel. Hopefully just completing the vanity project and getting such a preeminent launch was its own reward for Madonna ... because the knives came out; reviews were mixed to terrible, and M struggled to find distribution for the movie. Ultimately, it got a limited release, and box office was downright dismal. So why, exactly, is this cinematic flameout so important? In light of the international attention fixed on the project, we're reminded of another Hollywood truism: "When Madonna fails, she fails spectacularly."

8. Madonna turns 50 (August 16). When was the last time a celebrity's birthday received so much press? Madonna was alternately lavished with praise and lashed upon hitting the big five-oh, the former for her amazing ability to stay so vibrant and fit, the latter for her seeming inability to wear "age-appropriate" garments for too terribly long. She didn't mark the day with that long-rumored Central Park gig. Guy Ritchie threw a party at London hotspot Volstead to celebrate with almost a hundred of their closest friends. Since she was only a week away from kicking off her world tour, she was back at the gym the next morning. When asked how she felt about reaching the half-century mark, Madonna laughed and said, "Wait a minute. Stop right there - is it a landmark for a lady? I don't see it as a milestone but everybody keeps mentioning it. I see it as another excuse to have a birthday party." If she wasn't going to make a big deal about turning 50, someone had to. It was the perfect day to open up discussions about persistent sexist and ageist industry double-standards, Madonna's long career, and those evergreen plastic surgery rumors. And her 50th was an inkblot by which analysts could face down their own places in life, eliciting people's perspectives on mortality ("Yes, Virginia, there is a Madonna, and she isn't going to live forever ...") and nostalgia ("... but, wow, do you remember her pissing off the Pope during Blond Ambition? I feel old.").

7. Madonna strikes a deal with StubHub (May 9). Madonna bedded down with ticket reseller StubHub and maybe cheated on her fans in a move that reflects capitalism at its finest. News that the superstar reached an agreement with the eBay-owned company to profit, basically, off of mark-ups in the so-called "secondary ticket market" infuriated fans and industry watchers. (Music blog Idolator, for example, posted a piece entitled "StubHub: The Official Scalper of Madonna Tickets".) Madonna's new label and 360-degree promoter, LiveNation, obviously needed to recoup some of the expenses of sending one of its marquee acts on the road in a downturning economy. The gross of all face-value tickets was not going to cover all the outlays of cash required of the tour and yield a sizable enough haul to justify LiveNation's substantial payout to Madonna, so Madonna and LiveNation taking a chunk of the profits of the prominent reseller made fiscal sense. By securing an agreement with StubHub, Madonna and LiveNation were also given a modicum of control over the marketing for such resales. When brokers and ticketholders wanted to unload their in-demand stash, they most likely turned to StubHub with its guarantee policy and quality control, and LiveNation and Madonna could feel assured in directing prospective buyers to the site. "Forget trying on Ticketmaster," they would essentially say when seats were suspiciously gobbled up, "and head to StubHub!" While the deal was a disappointing reaffirmation to some that the Material Girl's in it just for the coin, it again reframed Madonna as business savvy: If anyone should be making money off of fans' willingness to pay beyond the established ticket prices, why shouldn't it be the artist herself?

6. Madonna debuts Hard Candy material at Roseland Ballroom in NYC (April 30). "Get up out of your seat. Come on up to the dance floor," she commanded. Madonna earned her seventh number one album (second only to Barbra Streisand) with the April 29 release of Hard Candy. Her eleventh studio album - the last with Warner Bros. - is a blend of slick urban production and dance beats featuring contributions from Pharrell Williams (whose production on the suggestive "Candy Shop" and Grammy-nominated "Give It 2 Me" provide a love-it-or-hate-it litmus test for his skills), Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, and Kanye West (offering expendable rap on standout "Beat Goes On"). Critical reception was immediately lukewarm (overproduced or airtight? Instantly dated or forward-thinking?). To promote the album and ensure its "event" status in these file-sharing times, Madonna gave three free performances, the first of which was a jam-packed show at the site where the Music promo tour roared into New York in 2000. Eschewing a distinct "look" for this particular era, Madonna forwent cowboy hats and henna tattoos for an uneasy collision of athletic boxer edge ("hard") and visuals of literal sweets ("candy"). About 1,800 fans lucky enough to win a contest or brave enough to wait for hours outside the venue witnessed Madonna premiere the new songs. (The show was simulcast online by MSN.) "Candy Shop" became the latest in a string of Madonna songs made cooler live (see also: "Impressive Instant" and "Future Lovers"), and energetic closer "Give It 2 Me" gave her backup dancers a nice platform to exercise, while uptempo ballad "Miles Away" allowed Madonna to strap on a guitar, as she did for a noisy, hard rock-tinged "Hung Up". She also juiced this millennium's "Holiday", "Music", with an '80s backbeat sample and retro New York vibe. Timberlake joined Madonna on stage to perform their hit duet "4 Minutes" as they darted around roving video screens. Madonna later took the show to Maidstone, England and Paris to shore up international support. Meanwhile, the album has rivaled American Life for the dubious distinction of being Madonna's least-selling domestically to date (despite gold certification). On the other hand, it is one of the best-selling worldwide albums of the year, increasing Madonna's global tally over three million units.

5. I Am Because We Are premieres at the TriBeCa Film Festival (April 24). Madonna hit the film festival circuit again to introduce the documentary she had been writing and producing since 2006. I Am Because We Are, directed by Nathan "Madonna's gardener" Rissman, is a film about the struggles of African nation Malawi's populace in the face of hunger and malnourishment, political instability, and AIDS, with a keen focus on how these ills affect the country's millions of orphaned children (including Madonna's adopted son, David). The generally well-received movie explores - through profiles of several Malawian orphans, interviews with luminaries such as Bill Clinton and Desmond Tutu, and input from relief workers - as per an official blurb, "all sides of the dilemma, from responsibility to victim mentality." First stop on this movie junket was New York City's seventh annual TriBeCa Film Festival, where the first screening was instantly oversold, a sign that Madonna's name could lure fans to a message movie. Five additional SRO screenings followed. Then, on May 22, seventeen years after Truth or Dare arrived at the Cannes Film Festival, Madonna went back to the glitzy French seaside fete to unveil I Am Because We Are, but the good intention behind the movie was dimmed by the huge yacht party - ironic, no? - thrown by Diane von Furstenberg and Barry Diller to honor Madge. Madonna even did buddy Michael Moore a favor and pressed the flesh at the Traverse Film Festival in their shared homestate of Michigan on August 2. People camped out to see her, and the little-known festival - that Moore helps program - suddenly made headlines. Sayeth Mr. Moore, "[Madonna's] presence here in Traverse City will have a profound impact on people." Said impact could manifest in humanitarianism ... or maybe concert ticket-buying. It was at a panel at Traverse where she giddily announced her world tour's Detroit homecoming, the first since 2001's Drowned World Tour. Unfortunately, the good news about her return may have come too late; the Detroit show, on sale several months after other markets, was the poorest-selling on the tour.

4. "4 Minutes" becomes Madonna's 37th Top Ten hit (April 2). With all due respect to Elvis Presley, the King has been displaced by the Queen. The lead single off Hard Candy, a Grammy-nominated ditty sung with Justin Timberlake against a chunky trumpet rhythm, vaulted into the Billboard Top Ten and became Madonna's 37th song to do so. That number nudged past Elvis' previous record of 36 Top Ten hits. "4 Minutes" soared to and then stalled at #3, giving Madonna her biggest hit since 2000's "Don't Tell Me", and Madonna found herself in the Top Five in twenty-eight countries. Anticipating the popularity of the song thanks to JT's presence and Timbaland's polarizing, trademark hitmaking production, Madonna shot a high-concept, high-gloss video that was nominated for a choreography VMA. In the clip, Madonna looks amazingly young as she nonchalantly flees a black, amorphous CGI entity devouring everything in its path (parking lot, supermarket), and she doesn't seem out of place gyrating next to the decades-younger Timberlake. Riding the song's digital download success and taking advantage of the immediacy of the internet, Madonna even hit YouTube on April 16 and encouraged fans to upload covers of the song. Concurrent with the song's breakthrough was a ubiquitous PermaSilk shampoo commercial to which Madonna had licensed the distinctive "4 Minutes" hook. By the time Hard Candy was released, everyone could finish the following sentence: "We only got four minutes ... " Speaking of the lyrics, someone still needs to hold Madonna accountable for the line "What I need is a you intervention, yeah." Really, Madge?

3. Madonna is inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (March 10). The powers-that-be at the Cleveland-based museum dedicated to influential musical artists nominated and voted to include Madonna in her first year of eligibility. She was inducted alongside Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five, John Mellencamp, and The Ventures at a ceremony held in New York's Waldorf-Astoria hotel. Her lengthy acceptance speech, if a bit self-indulgent and marred by the loving but annoying heckles of a raucous fan in the upper balcony, was shockingly delivered in her old whiny American accent (yay!) and touched nicely upon all the noteworthy Madonna Legend highlights, from her Breakfast Club band to the major producers, songwriters, and managers she's worked with. Without being overly cloying, she recounted her mythological ascent and thanked the various players that helped shape and support her twenty-five year career. Just as Grandmaster Flash before her symbolized the Hall of Fame's inclusion of diverse styles of music, the welcoming of Madonna into the hallowed inner sanctum of industry icons further acknowledged the redefinition of "rock and roll" to incorporate genres like pop and dance. This huge milestone would have been ranked even higher but for a slew of cheapening distractions: demerits for the garish outfit and hair/make-up; the innuendo-laden introduction by Justin Timberlake that bordered on disrespectful at best, offensive at worst; and letting Iggy Pop utterly murder "Ray of Light" during his post-induction "tribute" performance. It wasn't Madonna's most graceful evening, which is unfortunate considering the weight of the honor. However, in keeping things "edgy" (in her mind, at least) by, say, wearing a transparent dress and mentioning use of Ecstasy, Madonna reminded the music bigwigs and, by extension, us that she wasn't going to accept what boils down to a lifetime achievement award with a silent bow and then disappear.

2. Sticky & Sweet Tour kicks off in Cardiff, Wales (August 23). Okay, let's just get the bad news out of the way first: Madonna's fourth major tour in seven years, while breathtaking in sheer spectacle, was saddled with the same stale structure (i.e., dramatic video opener, four sections, didactic political montage, sporadic guitar playing, extended closing singalong, LCD screen catchphrase finale). Some audiences griped that there were sound problems. Entire segments of the show felt rehashed, a pinch of the promo tour here, a pastiche of Live Earth there. Many (or, more than usual) numbers appeared to have a distracting backing track. The official show start time became a laughable afterthought as she angered some with diva-level tardiness. Oh, and Australian fans got hosed ... again. Now the good news: The very, to borrow a word used in nearly every single review of the tour, aerobic nature of the show was utterly exhausting and awe-inspiring in equal measure; Madonna proved to be the inimitable dynamo of lore. While that (yawn!) controversial, heavy-handed "Get Stupid" video had more eyes rolling than minds changed, stripped of its context within the show, we're left with a great hybrid song cobbled together from several Hard Candy tracks and given an urgency lacking in Madonna's last few albums; expect it to find a second life on iTunes playlists everywhere. "Dress You Up", "Open Your Heart", and "Everybody" were just a few of the songs resurrected by fans during a first-of-its-kind request and singalong portion of the show, unique at each performance. Madonna again proved her formidable power over the press by constantly making admittedly facile, headline-grabbing comments about easy-target conservative V.P. candidate Sarah Palin and voicing her support for Barack Obama and gay marriage in California. Madonna truly re-invented her back catalog with a surprising setlist that incorporated at least one song from every studio album (except Like a Virgin). And more great moments: Pharrell Williams and Timbaland appeared in Miami! Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake joined the show (alas, separately) in L.A.! Madonna Double Dutched! She actually sang "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" in Argentina! She rode a car down the runway! She mashed up "Vogue" with "4 Minutes"! She joyfully evoked buddy Keith Haring! Now the best news of all: Madonna will break her own record as Sticky & Sweet wraps in Brazil as the highest-grossing female-led tour of all time. Phew!

1. Madonna confirms her divorce from Guy Ritchie (October 15). Not everyone can name Madonna's latest album or tour, but everyone under the sun knows that Madonna is getting divorced. From "I Deserve It" in 2000 through "X-Static Process" in 2003 to "Miles Away" in 2008, we were treated to a somewhat insider's view of the evolution of a marriage in song, but the Mrs. Ritchie chapter has now been closed. We've been hearing the constant speculation for years, seemingly since December 22, 2000, when Madonna married the British director (and father to son Rocco) in Scotland. This year's round of doubting the strength of their union began in earnest when Guy was a no-show at several important Madonna functions, including the Filth and Wisdom premiere and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. Tabloids called in the body language experts to analyze the increasingly rare joint appearances they made. Quietly, Madonna had retained Paul McCartney's divorce lawyer. Later, amid the aforementioned health concerns, grueling tour rehearsals, and baby brother drama of the torturous summer of 2008, the troubled-marriage rumors that plagued the superstar couple were particularly ablaze: The bizarre love triangle of Guy Oseary clients Madonna, Yankees baseball player Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez, and Lenny Kravitz - with A-Rod's wife, clandestine rendezvouses, and secret getaways to Paris thrown in for good measure - appeared too surreal to be true. Conspiracy theorist tabloids then decided that Madge and Guy were wagging the dog to spike ticket sales after already agreeing to divorce after the tour. But then Guy reportedly had a change of heart and demanded the dissolution happen sooner. It all came to a head on October 15, when flack Liz Rosenberg acknowledged the divorce was happening. Sticky & Sweet barreled on, and a rather quick settlement was announced, ruining the hopes of those who were expecting and perhaps rooting for an ugly battle. After all, a dirty fight seemed all but certain based on the nasty gossip about both sides that started polluting the blogosphere and tabloid universe after the divorce was confirmed. Armchair therapists will debate what did the marriage in; was it a cocktail of adultery, Kabbalah, M's reported desire to move back to NYC, friction over David's adoption (finalized on May 28), ego-fueled industry rivalries, or some/none of the above? Divorce is not easy on anyone, and Madonna would be forgiven if she wilted a bit from the stress. But perhaps boding well for healthy singledom was her first public appearance since a divorce settlement was imminently expected. When Madonna stepped out in a grassy Louis Vuitton skirt for a UNICEF event on November 19, no one paid much attention to the queer dress, as it was indisputably the best Madonna has looked in years (insert "Who's That Girl?" joke here). She'll survive. And probably thrive. Remember how creatively fecund Madonna was after her divorce from Sean Penn? Let's hope the next Like a Prayer awaits ...

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2007

2007-12-21T00:01:00.000-05:00

For a relatively lower-profile year, Madonna sure had an active twelve months.

By measure of music, yes, she was quiet. 2007 was the first year in a quarter-century in which Madonna didn't release a Billboard-charting single. (The Live Earth-inspired "Hey You" never quite busted out of its promotional box.) Instead of a mammoth tour, there was exactly one live performance. And those "leaked" songs everyone heard from the upcoming album? Yeah, we didn't feel 'em either and, really, maybe we weren't supposed to yet.

2007 was indeed the calm before what promises to be the giant media storm of 2008, what with an album, a tour, her film directorial debut, more charity work, and a certain career-defining industry acknowledgement all in the offing.

But, oh, what calm it was! When she wasn't busy assembling a Malawian orphan security detail or running around with gag-gift sex toys or shilling for a Japanese apartment building (um, really), Madonna handily maintained her rightful place at the top of the pop culture heap. No one lays low quite like Madge.

Here are the most sterling examples of how she did it in 2007:

10. Madonna attends Vanity Fair's Academy Awards after-party (February 25). For the second year in a row, this harmless - and remarkably silent - cameo makes the list because it was again so unexpected ... and yielded another sensational M look. The dark Dolce & Gabbana satin gown, $10 million worth of Neil Lane diamonds, and a glam old-Hollywood coif all screamed "Movie star!" (Don't mention Swept Away, and we won't either.) Effortlessly hobnobbing with the industry elite, including a memorably champagne-swigging Penelope Cruz, is in just another day's work. Evidence you don't need to have been a multiplex draw or Oscar contender - just a marquee name will do, thanks - to waltz through the Hollywood prom.

9. Madonna arrives late to "Today" interview (January 11). Rumors about diva behavior are one thing; capturing said antics on live television is quite another. So it went when Madge nearly missed her interview with Meredith Vieiria to promote animated stinker Arthur and the Invisibles. An NBC camera captured the tardy entrance, and as the footage aired, Vieiria ribbed Madge and asked what held up the star. Madonna's reason for her lack of punctuality? "Hair." And then, as the show cut to commercial, she muttered, "Angie's fault," a faux-amused jab at manager Angela Becker. Obviously, you still can't spell "prima donna" without you-know-who.

8. Crown Publishing retracts purchase of Melissa Dumas' nanny tell-all (March 15). It's one of the major unwritten rules among celebrities: Do not mess with the rich and famous. They can buy and sell you. Or at least destroy your literary ambitions, as Melissa Dumas learned when her lit agent started shopping around an expose detailing Dumas' time with Madge and family, a proposal brilliantly entitled Live to Tell: My Life as Madonna's Nanny. Within a few days of the announcement of a deal, breathlessly juicy tidbits from the tome - Madonna makes Mommie Dearest look like "The Brady Bunch"! Her marriage is bunk! - started trickling in. Shortly thereafter, Dumas (ahem, suspiciously?) lost her publishing deal. Ever since, it's been all quiet on the nanny front. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Dumas and her family.

7. The Confessions Tour CD/DVD is released (January 30). The whole was greater than the sum of its parts: exhumed cutting-room content from the lackluster NBC Thanksgiving '06 broadcast, including the controversial "Live To Tell" segment; a lovingly mastered (read: unmistakably sweetened) live CD; some piddly extras. Most exciting about this popular release - which sold 40,000 units in its first U.S. week alone - was that Madonna was offering an uncut concert video, the first of its kind since 2001, perhaps a harbinger of hope for the other, more-clamored-for archived shows like 1990's Blond Ambition. As for the incredible Confessions show itself, "Future Lovers/I Feel Love" remains one of Madonna's most inspired openers, and "Lucky Star" bleeding into "Hung Up" is shamelessly orgiastic fun.

6. H&M launches M by Madonna (March 22). Swedish clothing chain H&M craved another mass-market fashion mob scene. Madonna had been seeking a business partner to release a comprehensive, affordable clothing line reflective of her "timeless, unique and always glamorous style." This match in sartorial heaven netted $15 million its first week, a 17% spike in first-month sales, and a bevy of promotion that ensured we'd never again fail to link Madonna with blacks, whites, and creams. The coolest design and most memorable by-product associated with this era, however, by far wasn't the chunky sunglasses or shiny tracksuits, but rather the appearance of a "weeping Madonna." On April 3, a huge H&M billboard in Britain was defaced by an unknown graffiti artist, who poured neon paint out of a slit beneath Madge's eye. No doubt to signify the economic miracle the woman begot.

5. Word leaks that Madonna is in the studio with Justin Timberlake (April 11). The last time we saw these two together, Madge had just made out with Timberlake's ex in front of millions. But it's been four years and a Britney Spears meltdown since those VMAs. With confirmations that uber-producers Pharrell Williams and Timbaland were collaborating on the upcoming Madonna album, it was only a matter of time before news surfaced that Timberlake was lending himself to the party. Photos of J.T.'s clandestine comings and goings from the London studio in which this album was being crafted - and paparazzi snapshots of his after-work outings with Madge and her coterie - became an Internet mainstay, creating a media frenzy regarding the hottest musical May-December teaming since Jack White and Loretta Lynn. Clearly Madonna is not taking any chances in "hipping up" her highly-anticipated next record, now set to debut in second quarter '08, by hiring the Grammy wunderkind and tabloid staple.

4. Confessions on a Dance Floor wins Best Electronic/Dance Album Grammy (February 11). Madonna racked up three Grammy nominations this year, icing on the cake after worldwide success and uniform praise of the Confessions on a Dance Floor album. Gratification for the November '05-released Confessions had arguably come and gone by the time the trophies were handed out in February. Competition in the three categories for which she was up for a Grammy (Best Electronic/Dance Album, Best Dance Recording for Confessions standout "Get Together," and Best Long Form Music Video for I'm Going To Tell You a Secret) was fierce, with names like the Pet Shop Boys, Depeche Mode, Bruce Springsteen, and, why, Justin Timberlake dotting the lists. To underscore the lack of focus on these races, event organizers relegated them to a sidebar during the telecast, and Madonna was a no-show, having performed the year before. Anyway, would all this award talk be old hat for Madonna, who had been nominated 22 times previously? Never. The highly-regarded prize for Confessions was a welcome addition to Madge's mantel, marking her sixth Grammy and a nice shot in the arm from her peers. Thanks to the powers-that-be at the Recording Academy for keeping Timberlake's juggernaut, Future Sex/Love Sounds, off the Dance Album short list!

3. "Everybody" celebrates its 25th anniversary (April 24). Fudging only a minor date, Madonna's reps trumpeted the birthday of M's first single, the post-disco club hit "Everybody." While never cracking the Billboard Top 100, the tune ushered in the new pop singer, a singer whom early listeners had presumed was African-American. Her image was clarified in the rudimentary "Everybody" video (her first), shot at Paradise Garage, the New York City dancehall that Madonna frequented and, in fact, had been the first venue to play the "Everybody" demo, part of a small compilation that secured her a recording deal. A true breakout for the 24 year old was yet to come (most consider "Holiday" in 1983 that breakout, "Like a Virgin" in 1984 the slingshot), but Madonna was finally on the map. And she has always recognized the significance of the song; she has recycled the refrain "Dance and sing / Get up and do your thing" several times over her career, most recently in an aural homage during the Confessions Tour. As for historical relevance, the milestone anniversary of "Everybody" augurs eligibility for an upcoming honorific not lost on Madonna's camp: induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, slated for March of '08. Of course.

2. Madonna performs at Live Earth (July 7). When the line-up for this series of simultaneous eco-awareness concerts was officially announced, we wondered, why would Madonna try to top her triumphant Live 8 performance from two years ago? Apparently because she had something even better in store. After a marathon day of musical acts, there was a planned minute blackout to draw awareness to energy conservation. Then Madonna took the London stage ... and the light, it done shine! Clad in a short black dress and debuting her late-'07 wavy blond 'do, Madonna broke into the ho-hum event anthem "Hey You," replete with kids' choir. Then came a serviceable rendition of the rock-tinged "Ray of Light," now familiar to Confessions Tour audiences, though the new juxtaposition between M's prissy outfit and guitar was pretty darn sexy. The most revelatory piece of this gig, surprisingly enough, was a refreshing, truly reinvented "La Isla Bonita." Accompanied by Gogol Bordello, a Gypsy punk band (!) from New York, Madonna mashed up the 1987 standard with a Gypsy folk song and elevated the material into sublime transcendence. Repeated viewings accentuate how whimsical and daring the performance was, and the smile on Madonna's face and the giddy exuberance of her dancers let viewers in on the fact they knew they were creating something like high art. Madonna closed her Live Earth set by segueing into a boisterous, truncated "Hung Up" that ... but ... er, wait ... Gypsies?!? Sheer genius.

1. Madonna leaves Warner Bros. and signs with Live Nation (October 11). Madonna's been just as famous for being a video trailblazer, a female pop pioneer, and a fashion trendsetter as for her music. Even though she's traditionally regarded as being at the forefront of the industry in many capacities, it's tempting to write her off recently as having stumbled by being a bit more reactive than proactive, in, for example, recycling producers, latching on to passe sonic trends, or getting late into the iTunes game. That misconception of Madonna as laggard was irrevocably shattered this year with her newest innovation: Redefining nothing less than the entire music industry business model. Madonna's decision to walk away from the Warner Bros. music label after twenty-five successful years and to sign with Live Nation represented a seismic shift in the business. Not only because it signals the ebbing reliance on big music label distribution but because it heralds the paradigm-changing concept of "360 degree" deals, in which one company - in this case, Live Nation - handles all facets of a talent's career, from management and merchandising to touring and album distribution. Unfortunately, Warner Bros. demonstrated sour grapes for its major loss by releasing the finance memo entitled "For $120 million, She's All Yours" (ouch) even though there is still one album and a greatest hits compilation remaining on Madge's pre-existing agreement, mandating at least another year of cooperation. Meanwhile, concurrent with the consensus that the alt-rock group Radiohead became the game-changer with respect to pay-as-you-wish downloading, Madonna has been credited with spearheading the charge into the new frontier with the all-inclusive Live Nation contract. Madonna's ten-year commitment to Live Nation (which reportedly contemplates at least three albums, four tours, and a film shingle) set the tone for how deals will be made in the years to come. As labels scramble to turn a profit in the ever-evolving new media world, artists will embrace hands-on content distribution, multimedia promotion, and unprecedented fan access. This free agent shuffle was one part "Bye Bye Baby" and ten parts "Ray of Light."

Madonna: 25 Years in Video

2007-10-18T10:00:00.001-04:00

To celebrate Madonna's 2008 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

Going to the Chapel and We're Gonna Get Married!

2007-05-16T14:34:00.001-04:00

Technically, this post will be more about G-Lock than Madonna, so we're comfortable in avering that our boycott still stands.

We just wanted to point out that G-Lock and his fiance are officially tying the knot in a little over five weeks! And, yes, it can be revealed that the wedding song will indeed be Madonna-inspired (thanks for the tips) ... and will be kept secret until the event, as some of the wedding guests might be dropping in on this blog. The wedding will be incredible, on so many levels, and we're so excited!

The reception DJ has also been supplied select Madge tunes, as well, to keep the crowd moving in between band sets. Madonna will therefore make about a half dozen "appearances" throughout the evening.

Okay, that's it ... We won't even mention what's going on in Madonna news since our break started ... but JUSTIN TIM--?! .... Okay, okay ... we might have to save it all for the Top Ten Madonna Moments of the year. Okay, we're really leaving now. Bye. Bring on that damn Re-Invention DVD!

Re-Invention or Bust!

2007-02-27T20:44:00.000-05:00

There's no greater power than the power of goodbye.

It's come down to this: Acting upon a vague but earnest urge to protest, until we get that oft-delayed Re-Invention Tour on DVD, we're hanging up the blogging keyboard. When (or if?) the official announcement of the DVD comes, the calling to obsess over Madonna will no doubt return in full force. Fans can only be ignored for so long ...

To be notified when A Madge and Me and You goes live again, and to get sporadic updates, enter your e-mail address in the subscription field to the right.

'Til that glorious day, take care, be in touch, and have a Madge-ic Life.

[Cue Take a Bow.]

UPDATE 3/29/07: The site just received a very promising e-mail from an "insider" about a possible DVD announcement coming soon. Wow. Maybe the self-imposed exile will end sooner than later. By the way, happy one year anniversary, A Madge and Me and You!

Those Guys Were Into Pilates, Right?

2007-02-16T08:24:00.000-05:00

Madonna Says She Wants to Be Like Gandhi

(People)

Any Chance the Sunglasses Come in Gay Men's Sizes?

2007-02-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

Madonna becomes H&M's material girl

(The Evening Standard)

What Happened in the Eighties Stays in the Eighties

2007-02-12T21:20:00.000-05:00

Madonna tops style awards

(NEWS.com.au)

We Have a Winner!

2007-02-11T19:53:00.000-05:00

No matter who won the Best Dance Recording Grammy, Madge is bringing sexy back! (No hard feelings, Justin.)

Confessions on a Dance Floor took home the Grammy for Best Electronic/Dance Album. Congratulations to Madonna on Her first Grammy in seven years and Her sixth overall!

Madonna Grammy History

2007-02-10T13:24:00.000-05:00

With the 49th Annual Grammy Awards just around the corner - and M up for three trophies - the time calls for a look back at the many nominations (and five wins) our lady has racked up from the kudofest over the years:

1985: (nom) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Crazy For You

1986: (nom) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Papa Don't Preach

1987: (nom) Best Song Written Specifically for a Motion Picture, Television, or Other Visual Media, Who's That Girl

1990: (nom) Best Short Form Video, Oh Father

1990: (nom) Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical, Like a Prayer

1991: (win) Best Long Form Music Video, Blond Ambition World Tour: Live!

1995: (nom) Best Long Form Music Video, The Girlie Show: Live Down Under

1995: (nom) Best Song Written Specifically for a Motion Picture, Television, or Other Visual Media, I'll Remember

1996: (nom) Best Pop Vocal Album, Bedtime Stories

1999: (nom) Album of the Year, Ray of Light

1999: (nom) Record of the Year, Ray of Light

1999: (win) Best Pop Vocal Album, Ray of Light

1999: (win) Best Dance Recording, Ray of Light

1999: (win) Best Short Form Music Video, Ray of Light

2000: (nom) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Beautiful Stranger

2000: (win) Best Song Specifically Written for a Motion Picture, Television, or Other Visual Media, Beautiful Stranger

2001: (nom) Best Pop Vocal Album, Music

2001: (nom) Record of the Year, Music

2001: (nom) Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Music

2002: (nom) Best Short Form Music Video, Don't Tell Me

2003: (nom) Best Dance Recording, Die Another Day

2003: (nom) Best Short Form Music Video, Die Another Day

2007: (nom) Best Electronic/Dance Album, Confessions on a Dance Floor

2007: (nom) Best Dance Recording, Get Together

2007: (nom) Best Long Form Video, I'm Going To Tell You a Secret

Her batting average on those nominations? A meager .136, not including this year's noms. But twenty-two nods is pretty staggering.

And who needs a trophy to validate a music career? Madonna's most memorable Grammy appearances, especially in the latter half of Her career, usually revolve around one of Her incredible live performances. The stunning trifecta of Nothing Really Matters in 1999, Music in 2001, and Hung Up last year are almost unparalleled in show-stealingness.

Capping a banner year proclaimed as Her umpteenth "comeback" era, Madonna opened up the 1999 Grammys in full-blown geisha mode. I had this to say about the performance in my column about Madonna's top live performances:

There is something haunting but absolutely essential about this oft-overlooked performance. Perhaps one of those most out-there Grammy numbers, Madonna’s geisha-infused set piece is inimitably hers, never to be replicated and virtually critic-proof.

I mean, there are very few grown-ups that we as a consuming public will allow play dress-up on such a large scale. Madonna recreates the herky-jerky movements from the video while balanced on obscenely high platform boots. This performance just barely edges out The Power of Goodbye performance from the Europe VMAs, but only because Madonna would later (finally!) collect several trophies for the Ray of Light album throughout the evening, making the 1999 Grammy telecast truly historic.

Madonna's next appearance at the Grammys - while not as successful trophy-wise as 1999 - yielded a second memorable opening number. Of Music in 2001, I wrote:

No one can open an awards show quite like Madonna, who is guaranteed to whip the crowd into hysteria before the proceedings even start. This was her first national performance of the blockbuster song that critics dubbed a
return to Holiday fun.

And --- ouch -- those deep leg lunges! E! Online said it all: “We love Madonna's Jennifer Aniston 'do, we love her cool black threads, complete with ‘Material Girl’ tank, we love the video montage of Madonna highlights past, we
love the gold confetti falling on the crowd, we really love the pimp-daddy limo driven by Lil' Bow Wow...If the rest of the ceremony is even half as ghetto fabulous as Madonna's opening performance of her Grammy-nominated Music, we are so gonna be lovin' this show.”

Surely making my list of top live performances - had it been written a few years later -would be Hung Up, yet another Grammy opening. It's debatable whether Madge should have sat last year's telecast out altogether, being that She wasn't in attendance to wait out any nominations but rather, blatantly, to plug Confessions. Not that anyone's complaining. Her tried-and-true run-through of Hung Up, a performance featuring the animated Gorillaz, ranked as the second best Madonna moment of 2006, behind only the monumental Confessions Tour. Her reason for showing up? To rock your face.

While we won't get a performance from Madge this year, perhaps She'll add a few Grammys to Her mantel. Good luck, Madonna!

A Prince, a Queen, and a Guy Walk Into a Bar ...

2007-02-07T15:09:00.000-05:00

Prince Harry's night with the Queen of Pop

(Daily Mail)

One CD/DVD Purchase for Every Ten American Concert Tickets Sold = Top 15 Debut; Now What's That About Madge Being "Washed Up"?

2007-02-07T12:00:00.000-05:00

Better 'Late' Than Never: Jones Debuts At No. 1

(Billboard)

Because When You Hear "Ginormous Japanese Apartment Building with 30,000 Residents" You Clearly Think ...

2007-02-01T10:06:00.000-05:00

Madonna films new commercial for Ariake!
(Madonna.com)

Style Madonna Tokyo Ariake
(Brillia Mare Tower & Garden)

Listen to the Woman with the Mouth Agape

2007-01-30T09:58:00.000-05:00

DVD/CD IN STORES NOW!
(Madonna.com)

In the Further Adventures of Small Minds Vs. Madonna

2007-01-29T18:07:00.000-05:00

Amsterdam not to try Madonna for blasphemy

(Yahoo)

The AARP Must Wait Another Year and a Half Until That First Telltale Membership Packet Goes Out

2007-01-26T15:40:00.000-05:00

Madonna Says She's 'Absolutely Not' Retiring

(People)

Heeding the Advice of Tim Gunn, Madge and Guy Make It Work

2007-01-26T09:42:00.000-05:00

TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY
(Mirror)

File Under: Are We Still On This?

2007-01-24T20:15:00.000-05:00

Madonna's "Cross' Words

(Billboard)

Just Think How Much Richer She'd Be if You Hadn't Illegally Downloaded "The Immaculate Collection"

2007-01-18T09:54:00.000-05:00

The 20 Richest Women In Entertainment
(Forbes)

Madonna and Entourage Narrowly Avoid Recreating "What It Feels Like for a Girl" Video

2007-01-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

Madonna's fast NYC tour

(New York Daily News) [second item]

Madonna's Babydaddy More Than Just Sperm Donor

2007-01-14T11:12:00.000-05:00

STILL GOOD PALS

(New York Post)

Madonna Officially Eradicates F-Bomb Dropping Self of Yore

2007-01-12T13:37:00.000-05:00

Madonna talks orphans with Letterman

(MSNBC)

Not Content with Press Coverage of 'Arthur' or DVD, Liz Rosenberg Assures Rosie Reference Gets Mass Exposure

2007-01-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

Madonna defends Rosie in Trump feud

(CNN)

Watch Your Back, Minogue - Big Sister is Watching (In Between Text Messages, That Is)

2007-01-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

Madonna: I think Kylie is gr8

(The Sun)

She'll Tell You When 2007 Officially Begins, Motherfucker

2007-01-10T20:57:00.000-05:00

Madonna's "Confessions Tour - Live from London" Special Edition DVD/CD to Be Released January 30th

(MarketWire)

Madonna Abandons the Notion of 'Sitting This One Out'

2007-01-10T09:30:00.000-05:00

Has Madonna forsaken Her good buddy Rosie O'Donnell?

Madge is flying to New York to promote the tragically reviewed Luc Besson film Arthur and the Invisibles, for which She has generously - and no doubt artfully - supplied the voice of the character named Princess Selenia. There will be a screening in TriBeCa hosted by costar Robert Deniro. And what's a trip to New York without some good ol' fashioned TV appearances?

Today has already announced Her appearance on that show Thursday morning. And with rumors swirling about a potential sitdown on Live with Regis & Kelly (yes, again), one has to wonder, where's the love for The View? Surely the show's booker would have pushed any and all guests off the couch to make way for Her should She have opted to chat with those ladies again. Plus:

1. Rosie has been co-hosting for a few months, but Madonna has yet to be on air with Her old friend. She has now passed up two rounds of interviews to recapture the spark they displayed on Rosie's defunct talk show.

2. Ratings are bigger than ever thanks to the endless, much-publicized feud between Rosie and Donald Trump. Ratings = eyeballs = potential box office for Arthur. Which will need all the help it can get.

3. Madonna has done the show before but not so recently as to make it redundant.

4. And does She really want to re-visit the scene of the crime, NBC, which delivered still-smarting ratings for the Confessions Tour, so soon?

Just saying.

And Then St. Angie Pardoned Her People

2007-01-09T08:46:00.000-05:00

Angelina Jolie: We Should Support Madonna

(People)

Madonna Fans Can Sneer Because It's Been Ages Since We've Seen Madonna's Vagina

2007-01-05T18:45:00.000-05:00

BLEARY SPEARS AN 'OLDIE'

(New York Post)

Guy Ritchie Not Pleased With Royal Status as 'Chopped Liver'

2007-01-05T14:30:00.000-05:00

Malawi pleased with "loving mother" Madonna

(Reuters)

In Fairness, It's All Snoop Dogg's Fault

2007-01-05T12:49:00.000-05:00

Arthur and the Invisibles reviews

(Rotten Tomatoes)

Madonna Spared James Frey-Style Oprah Sassing

2007-01-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

OPRAH DEFENDS MADONNA ADOPTION

(Contact Music)

Confessions Tour Intoxication Induces World's Largest New Year's Hangover, In Which Madonna Asks, "Did I Actually Adopt a Baby in Malawi Last Year?!?"

2007-01-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

Malawi father: How is my son doing with Madonna?
(CNN)

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2006

2006-12-30T09:57:00.005-05:00

The true Queen of All Media has had a busy twelve months: books, videos, live performances all over the world, endorsements, and more TV appearances than Milton Berle in his prime. Even though She debuted only one new song this year (the groovy B-side History), Madonna managed to stay in the headlines for a myriad of projects and newsworthy events.

With so much going on - many undeniable hits (the Grammys! Confessions Tour!) and some debatable misses (sorry, H&M!, Boo, English Roses 2!) - it's difficult to catalog this year's highlights. But we'll sure try. Herewith, a rundown of Madge's finest moments of 2006 :

10. Madonna attends Vanity Fair's Academy Awards after-party (March 5). Hollywood's A-list regularly turns out for this glitzy annual post-ceremony photo op. Turning heads and wrenching the spotlight from, say, actual Oscar attendees, Madonna made a random appearance that had fashion critics divided: Was that hue of pink a good color on Her? Wasn't that hairdo already over last year? Should She lay off the bodybuilding routine? All could agree on one thing, however: Every single film actor in the room had been overshadowed by a major music icon. Sublimated revenge for that Evita snub is, apparently, a dish best served ice cold.

9. Madonna wins Best International Female Solo Artist at the Brit Awards (February 16). Up against formidable powerhouses Missy Elliott, Kelly Clarkson, Bjork, and reputed rival Mariah Carey, Madge took top female honors but bowed out of performing on England's major music awards show. She was recuperating from hernia surgery (see: the Grammys, below) and enduring another round of Guy break-up gossip, yet gracefully accepted Her trophy, acknowledging Her British inspirations, and later presented an honorary award to buddy and Live 8 organizer Bob Geldof. Class act.

8. Madonna accepts a TRL Lifetime Achievement Award (February 25). She had already long been considered elder stateswoman of the VMAs (for which She won the Video Vanguard Award ... in 1986), but Her staying power in the Totally Request Live era had been generally untested. When Hung Up was "retired" by MTV - the first and only video of Hers to reach the landmark rotation quota, and one of only two videos in history to finish in the top spot - Madonna became the oldest artist to receive the honor. So, yeah, MTV acknowledged its debt to Her for all the Christinas, Britneys, and *NSYNCers dotting the retired video list by bestowing its "biggest award" to Her. In a pre-taped segment that was shot backstage at the Grammys weeks earlier, Madonna accepted the award and expressed thanks for MTV's devotion over the years and reminded us all that She "paved the way for other female singers to push the envelope, think outside the box."

7. The Jump wig goes public (September 19). During the Japanese leg of the Confessions Tour, Madonna decided to have some fun with the media. Instead of simply taking off the wig She had been wearing on the set of the Jump video (concurrently being shot in Tokyo), She wore it out to a few public appearances, including collaborator Steven Klein's X-STaTIC PRO=CeSS exhibition. The international press had a field day. Her "hair" had become a sensation, triggering countless stories about Her chameleonic looks over the years and reams of opinion pieces discussing whether the platinum bob was the new chic look. Oops - not real! Was it a colossal joke or an innocent night out for Madonna? Either way, tongues across the globe were wagging over a wig. P.S., world media: Her hair has been even shorter in previous incarnations.

6. I'm Going To Tell You a Secret is released on DVD (June 6). A coup for fans, the DVD/CD combo pack of the documentary chronicling Madonna's life during the Re-Invention Tour and Her metamorphosis in the fourteen years since Truth or Dare hit shelves at a time when prospects for a Re-Invention DVD looked bleakest. Although a straight concert film of the 2004 extravaganza might go the way of Blond Ambition and Virgin Tour before it (unavailable in predominant home video format), Madonnaphiles can make due with the sumptuously shot concert tidbits nestled amid this two-hour film. Bundled with the DVD was Madonna's first-ever live CD, an audio collection of selected pieces from the tour. What's that aphorism about beggars and choosers?

5. The Get Together video premieres on VH1 (June 14). It shouldn't have worked: No new Madonna footage. Ketamine-inspired graphics. And, wait, are those Twin Towers an homage to 9/11? Somehow, it gelled: a summertime clip for the favorite off 2005's Confessions on a Dance Floor. Sagging under the weight of subpar Hung Up and Sorry clips, with their high-gloss emphasis on Madonna as just one of the kids, the album demanded a video to put the focus on the music and, just perhaps, Madonna Herself. Though the single never took off, in keeping with the so-called "Confessions curse," perhaps not a few Grammy voters saw this funky video and helped get the song its deserved nomination for Best Dance Recording.

4. Madonna appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show to set the record straight regarding Her adoption of David Banda (October 25). So much had been said and written about Her journey to the impoverished African nation of Malawi and Her trip-defining adoption of a 13-month old boy. The story would prove to be one of the most covered entertainment industry news items of the year. Barely back home in London and adjusting to life with a new baby, Madonna brought Her case to Oprah to debunk inaccurate reporting, explain the adoption process and Her other charitable efforts, and describe David's acclimation to his new custodians. Oprah was egregiously supportive of Madonna and, with her softball questions, may not have conduced an unequivocally balanced perspective on the issue. Still, the grand arbiter of all things media circus, the audience, got to hear Madonna sincerely - or "sincerely," depending on your view of the proceedings - make Her plea for understanding. And despite a few lingering bumps in the road, the Queen of Pop's sit-down with the Queen of Talk (Her most earnest of the four such interviews this decade) pretty much swayed public opinion back into Her favor with respect to the case at hand.

3. Madonna performs at Coachella (April 30). Diehards who bought tickets and then waited in the desert heat amid mobs of sweaty, inebriated hipsters for Madge's mini-set at this otherwise alternative arts and music festival deserve utmost Madonna fan cred as rightful targets of envy. From the opening strains of Hung Up to the final chords of enduring classic Everybody, the tent in which Madonna performed was a constant rumble of screams and bass. Though someone of Her magnitude need not put on such an intimate showcase at the expense of many of the high-tech luxuries afforded to music megastars, Madonna's Coachella gig demonstrated that She didn't need Her usual over-the-top theatrics to blow the speakers. Because of an unparalleled proximity to the star and a strong run-through of six songs (also including Get Together, Ray of Light, Let It Will Be, and I Love New York) one scant month before the launch of the Confessions Tour, those lucky enough to make it were definitely part of something extremely special. Anyone who says otherwise sucks, plain and simple.

2. Madonna opens the 48th Annual Grammy Awards with the Gorillaz (February 8). Watching this performance gave us a hernia. Disregarding the need for a nomination (Confessions missed this year's eligibility cutoff), Madonna crashed music's biggest night and went for the largest number of eyeballs in an exuberant, crowd-rousing show warm-up. Those age-defying few minutes will surely go down in history as one of Madge's greatest live performances. The joyful, computer-enhanced mash-up of the Gorillaz's "Feel Good, Inc." and Hung Up inspired a gasping, fawning review that still stands up, over ten months later. Riding high on the worldwide success of Confessions and looking the part, Madonna stole the show - hell, She deserved a trophy for the opening alone - and then just as quickly disappeared from the limelight to work on the Confessions Tour. Ask anyone who opened the Grammys this past year and they will say, "Madonna." (The Gorillaz who?) Right before the telecast began, an announcer asked, "Which moment from tonight's Grammy Awards will everyone be talking about tomorrow?" No contest. The real question: Did you pinpoint the exact second Madge's intestinal wall burst?

1. The Confessions Tour rocks on Madonna's birthday in London (August 16). How to best summarize the most successful female-headlined tour of all-time after sixty performances in front of 1.2 million fans on three continents? As much as we'd like to claim shows at Los Angeles, New York, or Philadelphia should be the prime example, clearly Her birthday performance three-quarters into the tour was the sterling show. Nearly three months had passed since the first performance of the tour, so dance moves were fluid, costume changes were seamless, banter was provided down to a science. Undaunted by the religious protests in England and elsewhere, Madonna barrelled through the entire show, including Her controversial and woefully misinterpreted Live To Tell piece on the faux crucifix. Cameras rolling for the ill-received NBC special meant few, if any, technical glitches and a pitch-perfect performance. Madge got a huge (48th) birthday shout-out from Her crew and the crowd, including Her closest friends and family in attendance, lightening the mood and elevating this particular show from the rest of the pack. Taken broadly together or in parts, the Confessions Tour was an unrivaled success by any measure and was the crowning achievement of yet another banner year.

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2006

2006-12-30T09:57:00.004-05:00

Top Ten Madonna Moments of 2006

2006-12-30T09:57:00.001-05:00

Today in Madonna History

2006-12-29T09:59:00.000-05:00

Ten years ago this Christmas week, Evita grossed $334,400 in limited release.

Based on the Tony Award-winning Andrew Lloyd Webber musical of the same name, the film was a long time in the making.

Madonna would later win a Golden Globe for Best Actress, Comedy or Musical, for the titular role, a part She famously lobbied for for years, reportedly including an audition tape sent to director Alan Parker in the form of Her period-appropriate Take a Bow video.

Once cast opposite her Truth or Dare crush Antonio Banderas, Madonna and the film's creators had to convince the court of public opinion - especially the doubtful, protective Argentinean people - that She was suited to portray Eva Peron. To perfect the transformation into the Argentinean dictator's wife, Madonna installed a "flip" to bridge the trademark gap in Her front teeth and cloaked Her light eyes with dark brown contact lenses.

During production of the film, Madonna revealed that She was pregnant with Her first child. She gave birth to Lourdes ("Lola") Maria Ciccone Leon on October 14, 1996.

Nominated for five Academy Awards, the film captured just one: fittingly, Best Original Song. At the Oscar ceremony on March 24, 1997, Madonna attended not as a nominee but as a performer. Her rendition of You Must Love Me remains a fan favorite, perhaps due to Madge's appearance at the Oscars despite a perceived Academy snub for Her acting.

Evita grossed just over $50 million.

Remembrance of Zings Past

2006-12-27T16:59:00.000-05:00

"I'm anal retentive. I'm a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I'm a control freak. That's why I'm not married. Who could stand me?"

P.S. Happy sixth anniversary, Madonna and Guy!

Related: Christopher Ciccone Passes on 'Holiday' 25th Anniversary Back-Up Dancing Gig

2006-12-27T16:49:00.000-05:00

Madonna tag hard to wear
(Miami Herald)

Madonna's Reputation as Ace Soundtrack Producer Shaken, Not Stirred

2006-12-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

It's the best-selling James Bond theme in twenty years and was a Top Ten hit, yet Madonna's Die Another Day is weathering another round of controversy, over four years after its release.

On the eve of the premiere of the 21st Bond film, Casino Royale, watchers anticipated judging not only Daniel Craig's first shot at playing the iconic spy character but the announcement regarding the film's theme: What will it be called? Who will sing? How does it sound?

James Bond themes are a crucial part of the movies themselves. This time around, the cinematic honor went to Chris Cornell's "You Know My Name". The song, tougher and edgier like the movie's blond lead, is already being (unfairly, IMHO) knocked as not quite up to par with predecessors like Shirley Bassey's "Goldfinger", Carly Simon's "Nobody Does It Better" (from The Spy Who Loved Me), or Duran Duran's "A View to a Kill". Poor Chris Cornell is taking his lashes just as the Queen of Pop did in the wake of all the lists popping up; but instead of Best Bond or Best Bond Girl, the dubious distinction is Worst Bond Theme.

Sitting atop many such a list is Madonna.

In 2002, pursuant to a mandate to reinvigorate and modernize the franchise, Madonna and Mirwais Ahmadzai concocted Die Another Day, a synth- and vocoder-filled approach for the eponymous film. It went on to receive a Golden Globe nomination for Best Original Song, but was also nominated for Worst Original Song by the Golden Raspberries.

Some loved it:

The third revolution of Bond songs: techno takes over; best "mild" dance tune ever! highly controversial; absurd, philosophical lyrics; great instrumentals/electronica at the beginning and the end; love how Madonna handles the break between "die" and "another day"[.]

And some ... not so much:

I always wanted to hear Madonna perform a Bond theme, but boy does this song bite. It's not only a bad sounding song but it's a badly produced one as well, sounding as if it was recorded as a demo at one of her frequent collaborator's living room. A real stinker.

Die Another Day would become Madonna's most commercially successful single, quite a feat considering the icon's huge career.

The accompanying $6 million music video for Madonna's Bond theme was directed by the Swedish team known as Traktor. Gritty shots of torture are offset by a duel between a black-clad Madonna (perhaps representing Her ego?) and a white-attired Madonna, rife with allusions to previous Bond films, including razor-lined hats and shattering museum cases.

Perhaps the biggest sign that Madge Herself could give two shites as to what critics think of the song, She revived Die Another Day - replete with electric chair finale - on the Re-Invention Tour in 2004.

In other words, Mr. Cornell, you're in good company.

Picture Worth a Thousand Words ... and Thousands and Thousands More Dollars

2006-12-20T14:50:00.000-05:00

When I visited San Francisco in 2003, the Museum of Modern Art was holding an exhibition of the works of Andreas Gursky, an amazing photographer.

One particular piece, called "Madonna I", took up nearly an entire wall - as a lot of his giant photos do - and is composed of time-lapsed scenes from a Drowned World performance. It, of course, became my favorite of the Gurskys and stopped me dead in my tracks for a little while. The image below hardly does the original justice:

Of the photograph, the Standford Daily said:

In “Madonna I” (2001), Gursky uses the computer to make one print from 15 negatives, all taken over the course of a couple days at approximately the same time in the finale of a Madonna arena concert. Lights flash, confetti falls and people hang upside down from a section of scaffolding that is mechanically lowered towards the stage. The shot, presumably taken from one of the upper corners of the cavernous arena, has such a sense of energy that it is difficult to stop looking at it.

Worth checking out if a Gursky exhibition ever comes to your town.

Lavender Tracksuits for Everyone!

2006-12-14T18:56:00.000-05:00

H&M, Madonna Launch New Fashion Line

(DDI)

A Stones' Throw from First Place

2006-12-14T15:34:00.001-05:00

Stones' Bigger Bang Is Top-Grossing Tour Of 2006
(Billboard)

Caveat Emptor, Again

2006-12-13T17:06:00.000-05:00

Just like the confusion of the I'm Going To Tell You a Secret DVD/CD combo pack, Amazon is yet again offering two competing items: The Confessions Tour Live from London CD/DVD set (perhaps the real listing?) and a DVD simply entitled Confessions Tour.

Curiously, the latter has a picture, seen above. Where Amazon dug up this depiction, we'll never know. The release dates of both are January 23, 2007. Neither one (yet) claims to be the strangely hermetic NBC broadcast. Like Secret, presumably only one will stand as the release date approaches. Until then, hang on to your credit cards and wait.

Quick, Page the Gorillaz!

2006-12-13T16:05:00.000-05:00

49th Grammy Awards - 2007
(Rock on the Net)

Crisis Mode?

2006-11-29T10:27:00.000-05:00

Madonna, seriously:

Consider
(People)

new
(Fox)

management.
(TV Guide)

And, for the love of Lourdes, release the Re-Invention Tour on DVD! If its pronounced delay is due to a legal rights issue, at least let us know so we don't have false hope a la Blond Ambition. Stop with the red herring of the Confessions DVD

... and, hey, speaking of, don't get me started on the editing of that NBC special.

Mamma Mia! Here She Goes Again!

2006-11-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

MABBA
(The Sun)

I Guess M's Old Haunt'll Die Another Day

2006-11-11T13:42:00.000-05:00

ROXY ROLLS ON
(New York Post)

You Should See the Other Guy

2006-11-11T13:26:00.000-05:00

Even Adjusted for Inflation, She'd Eat Elvis for Lunch

2006-11-11T13:13:00.000-05:00

Stones, Madonna Honored At Billboard Touring Awards
(Billboard)

Bring It!

2006-11-11T13:10:00.000-05:00

I Bet Angelina Can't Do the Loop

2006-11-04T12:29:00.000-05:00

I stand corrected.

A few days ago, after the "Regis" interview, I said:

I don't buy for a minute, however, that She went running in Central Park yesterday like She claimed. Bring me those paparazzi photos!

And She did:

Can I Get One More "Astonishing"?

2006-11-02T11:56:00.000-05:00

"Regis & Kelly" Preview

2006-10-31T14:55:00.000-05:00

Just got back from the taping of "Live With Regis & Kelly" with Madge.

The segment will now air Friday so as not to conflict with NBC's promotion plans Wednesday and Thursday.

Luckily, the studio audience - filled equally with housewives and avid Madonna fans - did not have to sit through an entire episode to wait for the Madonna interview. After the usual waiting and crowd warm-up, courtesy the executive producer, we were introduced to Regis and Kelly and then almost immediately started filming Madonna's introduction. The piece will be sown into Friday's presumably live episode.

Madonna came out with a big wave to the giddy audience, who of course instantly rose to its feet. With Liz Rosenberg, Angela Becker, and Guy Oseary watching from the sidelines, She took Her seat next to the co-hosts. She was wearing a black top and prim skirt, with white trim along Her collar and hair that echoed that of the Oprah sitdown last week.

The interview touched upon the new Ritchie household, and Madonna said Lourdes has really taken to baby David. Rocco, we learn, is into the martial arts, like his dad. The adoption scandal got glazed over in favor of what a seamless transition into the family it has been, complete with references to how similar the boy looks to Rocco. ("Maybe that's why I was drawn to him," Madonna said.) Madonna described Malawi as being a far-flung place that She hopes to do a lot more work for.

A great moment came when Regis held up a picture of he and Madonna taken from the Four Seasons veranda during the Truth or Dare promotion. Madonna pretended like She didn't recognize the young woman in the picture.

Briefly, Madonna spoke about English Roses 2 - which the audience half-expected to receive, to no avail (boo!) - and the genesis of the original book (i.e., Lourdes' interaction with her classmates at the French school she attends.)

The biggest round of applause came when Madonna said She considers New York Her home and that She misses the City... even if She feels claustrophobic in Her apartment without a giant spanse of yard to play around in. I don't buy for a minute, however, that She went running in Central Park yesterday like She claimed. Bring me those paparazzi photos!

What's up next for Her? After a quick plug for Her upcoming concert special, which a typically gushing Kelly reminded us is "must see, must see!", Madonna said She is going to direct a film. If Guy can do it ...

With a final wave and parting glance to the studio audience, She and her entourage disappeared behind the stage.

"Live" to Tape

2006-10-27T23:38:00.000-04:00

Madonna will be, uh, taping Her appearance on "Live with Regis and Kelly" on Tuesday afternoon. The show will be broadcast on Wednesday morning. I've been lucky enough to secure a spot in the audience (thanks, Con!), so I will be sure to fill everyone in on the interview details as soon as I get my grubby hands to a keyboard.

Have a safe trip, Madge! See you on Tuesday!

As an aside, I wonder where little David will be during this visit to New York. Dare I hope She doesn't cart him out for Her appearances; what was originally planned for English Roses 2 plugging will end up becoming a de facto Adoption Tour '06.

Eyes on the prize, everyone! Eyes on the prize.

Fair Weather Dad

2006-10-27T10:36:00.000-04:00

Boy's Father Afraid Madonna Will 'Dump' Son
(People)

TiVo Alert: Madge on "Oprah"! G-Lock on CNN!

2006-10-25T11:40:00.000-04:00

I was asked by CNN producers to watch today's "Oprah" episode a few hours early and give my opinion for their "Showbiz Tonight" program. The segment including yours truly will air tonight (Wednesday) at 11:00 PM EST.

Madge's appearance with the big O was surprisingly emotional. And clearly our girl had the studio audience in the palm of Her hand, even via satellite. Such is the wondrous effect of Madonna.

Whereas a few weeks ago I felt the adoption was 50% altruism / 50% PR stunt ("What is She promoting now?"), I'm starting to rethink my assessment and consider a 95/5 split ... Okay, maybe 85/15. Why, it makes me want to go out and get a baby for myself!

But, seriously, adoption is not something anyone takes lightly. A prospective parent with all the wealth in the world still assumes major responsibility. Madonna, at 48, has in adopting David, chosen a life that will preclude Her and Her nannies from becoming empty nesters until She's well into Her 60s. That's remarkably selfless, especially considering the abject poverty from which She saved the child She selected - yes, selected (get over it; that's how the average person adopts, too!) .

Sniping critics taking their potshots about Madge's alleged "shortcuts" around the Malawian adoption process (a messy, confused process, by all accounts) and decrying David Banda's status as not-quite-orphan are missing the point. Never has the crisis in Malawi gotten more attention or public discourse avidly included talk of adoption and parental alternatives. For this, Madonna should be commended, not demonized. Save such toothless vitriol for the religious right and its crusade against the disco crucifix.

I defy anyone to watch Madonna's interview and not be moved by Her sincerity and good intentions. We should all be particularly sad that David's father is being so callously manipulated by the media and news stories proclaiming Malawian protests to the adoption are being twisted punitively against Madonna.

I'm thrilled for Madonna and Her newly extended family. I wish Her the best and am now not at all concerned, considering the countless triumphs in Her long and storied life and career, that the best is exactly what She'll experience.

So, without further ado, enjoy "Oprah". And then kill a few hours before my cable news talking head debut.

Said the Woman Who is Printed in the Post

2006-10-23T15:31:00.000-04:00

Liz Smith: MADONNA DEFIANT
(New York Post)

Oh, Father

2006-10-22T21:05:00.000-04:00

Father: I didn't want Madonna adoption
(CNN)

Speaking of the Folks at 'In B.C.' ... The Case of Girl, Interrupted

2006-10-19T16:10:00.000-04:00

I had been meaning to bring this up previously, but today seemed like as good a time as ever.

Can anyone explain to me why the best line in the "Dolls and Dolls" episode of Will & Grace, out on DVD a few months ago, got excised?

In the original April '03 airing, Madonna, in character as Liz, was told by Sean Hayes' 'mo Jack that "I know we just met, but, as a gay man, I am oddly drawn to you." Her classic rejoinder, pimped out in then-current promos for the episode: "Yeah, I get that a lot."

Inexplicably, that exchange is gone from the DVD (at least the U.S. version).

WTF?

NBC must really have it out for our diva.

Conspiracy theorists, start your engines.

Take the Money and Run, Madge! NBC is a Sinking Ship Anyway!

2006-10-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

NBC cuts controversial song from Madonna special
(NBC)

NBC U cuts jobs, targets digital initiatives
(Variety)

David, Meet the Paparazzi

2006-10-17T16:51:00.000-04:00

Madonna responds to adoption controversy
(CNN)

Three Kids, Three Fathers, One Big Mutha

2006-10-17T14:51:00.000-04:00

Malawi Child Heads to Madonna's Home
(ABC News)

Guy Ritchie Presents a New Reimagining of "Out of Africa" as a Heist Film Starring Madonna

2006-10-16T15:26:00.000-04:00

Child Madonna hopes to adopt leaves Malawi
(CNN)

Forbidden Love

2006-10-13T18:57:00.000-04:00

Madonna Calls in Babysitter
(E! Online)

Did I Mention I Too Am Up For Adoption?

2006-10-12T15:52:00.000-04:00

Madonna takes custody of Malawian baby
(MSNBC)

Madonna Gives Birth!

2006-10-04T16:40:00.000-04:00

... To the new Jump video!

Click the pic below to enjoy the fruits of Her Japanese labors:

I guess we can kiss the days of gloriously cinematic videos goodbye. Au revoir, Bad Girl! Fare thee well, You'll See! Be still my beating heart, Bedtime Story!

As much as it pains me to say this, Jump is the same video, different wig. If there is a place in Madonna Fan Hell, then I have just secured my spot, but, really, it's the umpteenth iteration of the sing-to-the-camera-while-some-interesting-but-not-altogether-compelling-shit-happens-elsewhere school of videomaking. We needed a hugely incredible, fun video to resuscitate Confessions sales and get Jump into the Top Ten. Maybe next album.

In good news: a very hesitant but hearty congratulations to Madge on the did-She-or-didn't-She adoption! At least She apparently put Her imprimatur on something more fulfilling than Jump.

UPDATE: Now the adoption rumors are being officially debunked across every news source. Even though PR maven Liz Rosenberg's dismissals aren't necessarily the end-all to gossip, we can all rest easy - at least tonight - in the comfort of knowing that cynics won't be able to call Madge a "wanna-Jolie" just yet.

UPDATE 2: On an unrelated note to the adoption update, the Jump video is growing on me. It still reminds me of Beautiful Stranger and Nothing Really Matters blended with Hung Up outtakes with a hint of 42nd Street (that tacky neon set - oy!) and a pinch of Aeon Flux (ouch!), but I'm digging the gritty/glam dichotomy. Stay tuned.

"Now the World Don't Move to the Beat of Just One Drum ... "

2006-10-04T12:23:00.000-04:00

Madonna Visits Malawi, May Adopt Child
(AOL)

Madonna adopts baby boy in Malawi
(CNN)

Eat Your Heart Out, Bono

2006-10-04T10:20:00.000-04:00

Madonna starts Africa baby mission
(CNN)

The Gay Book of Genesis

2006-09-30T20:07:00.000-04:00

Rupert Everett: Madonna - before she became the Material Girl
(Daily Mail)

What Do Guy Ritchie and a Cucumber Have in Common?

2006-09-30T15:02:00.000-04:00

NBC Draws Protests From Conservatives
(New York Times)

Know Thine Enemy

2006-09-30T10:40:00.000-04:00

Sorry if you took my advice and went to the bible-thumpin', Madonna-hatin' American Family Association's website to turn the tables and voice support for Madonna's upcoming NBC special using their protest e-mail template. (Is it working ... ? Madge? NBC? Anyone?!)

Because now you're probably getting the most terrifying kind of spam imaginable: religious right spam.

To me, one or two e-mails in a month speaking out against abortion rights and gay marriage is more offensive than a daily barrage of ads for horny-slut webcams and boner pills. Sure, I could go to the AFA site and remove my name, but I am slightly drawn to these press releases the group periodically issues. It's almost like they're doing a caricature of Christian conservatives.

Their latest headline:

"NBC: Bible Verses In Veggie Tales Offensive, But Not Madonna's Mockery Of The Crucifixion Of Christ"

Ah, yes, the great talking-vegetable crusade! Jesus would be proud.

Coming Soon! The Adventures of Abdi 2: What is a Jihad?

2006-09-30T10:19:00.000-04:00

MADONNA'S NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK THE ENGLISH ROSES 2: TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE BLOOMS IN NEW YORK AND WORLDWIDE
(Callaway Arts & Entertainment)

Records Are Made To Be Listened To ... Or Broken

2006-09-29T00:02:00.000-04:00

Madonna 'earning world record wage'
(Yahoo! Music)

Remembrance of Zings Past

2006-09-26T17:18:00.000-04:00

“I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.”

From the Latest Issue of "No Duh"

2006-09-22T14:22:00.000-04:00

MADONNA NAMED THE 'COOLEST'
(Contactmusic.com)

So Much for Art Speaking for Itself

2006-09-22T08:14:00.000-04:00

Madonna Defends Being "Crucified" on Stage
(New York Times)

Is NBC Ready to Jump?

2006-09-21T10:18:00.000-04:00

Madge & NBC star-crossed?
(New York Daily News)

And Then She Rested

2006-09-20T22:52:00.000-04:00

Like a slightly withered helium balloon, the mighty Confessions Tour has wheezed to its conclusion, wrapping up its sixtieth and final performance in Tokyo.

Madonna, in the evidence of Your brilliance, over the course of four months, You rocked 1.2 million fans in 25 cities and 12 countries.

We have a confession for You: We'd do it all again.

Thanks for a great summer.

Cher, the Wealth

2006-09-20T13:23:00.000-04:00

Madonna's 'Confessions' Tour Sets Record
(Billboard)

Let the Waffling Begin!

2006-09-20T10:28:00.000-04:00

NBC undecided about Madonna mock crucifixion
(CNN)

Yes, But What Would Jesus Say About YouTube?

2006-09-19T08:34:00.000-04:00

NBC, Madonna Set To Mock The Crucifixion of Christ
(American Family Association)

By the way, you can use the AFA's handy template at the link above to e-mail NBC and support its decision to air Madge's special. Just change the language around and re-enter something similarly gushing, like Jesus would do.

Further, a reader pointed out that I totally called it. The AFA is cuddly and predictable.

Because Live 8 Just Wasn't Enough

2006-09-18T20:22:00.000-04:00

Malawi capital pins water hopes on Madonna
(Reuters)

Will 'Jump' Make 'History'?

2006-09-17T16:39:00.000-04:00

From Madonna.com:

Jump B Side Announced - EXCLUSIVE NEW TRACK!!!

Posted: 16 September 2006

Madonna.com is happy to confirm that Madonna is releasing a never before heard song called History as the B Side to the next single, Jump! Speaking of Jump, Madonna is taking time out of her busy schedule in Japan to shoot a brand new video. Check Madonna.com news for more information!

Here's hoping History is as cheese-tastic as Super Pop and the long-awaited Jump video finds itself VMA-worthy.

Somewhere, The Rocket Man is Gleeful

2006-09-17T16:20:00.000-04:00

Madonna Space Trip On Hold For Now
(Space.com)

Project: RSVP

2006-09-16T12:45:00.000-04:00

Breaking personal news: I got engaged to my partner last weekend! We have been on cloud nine this whole week.

Unless a state recognizes marriages for out-of-state residents in the next few months, we plan on getting hitched in beautiful Montreal late next summer.

We're counting on maybe 150 - 200 guests, close friends and family, to celebrate the event.

And I want Madonna to be there.

Well, I know She won't be able to pop in to our nuptials a la Her greeting the lucky newlyweds in Rome - and, no, we're not really going to waste an invitation on the overbooked diva - but I do want some sort of Madonna presence.

That's where you, dear reader, come in. I want Madonna fans to vote for the Madonna song that will be played at our wedding reception.

I'm calling it Project: RSVP, and it will run for a while, at least until we've picked the band that will perform at the party (and show an ability to respectfully cover Madge).

Over the course of the next few months, I will post a selection of individual song lyrics to consider .. and I am open to nominations. Official voting will most likely take place next year, so it will be a very fluid process of nominations and discussion up to that point.

Please help me in selecting the way in which Madonna appears at what will surely be one of the most important days in my life. I can't think of who else better to do that than the fans.

Today in Madonna History

2006-09-09T09:06:00.000-04:00

On this day in 1993, Madonna's 11th motion picture made its debut at the 50th Annual Venice Film Festival.

The Abel Ferrara-helmed Dangerous Game would become legendary for its on-set drama, if not its lackluster box office (total: $23,671, bad even by 1993 standards).

Coming off a particularly scandalous few years that includes Truth or Dare, the Sex book, the Erotica album, and the dismally-received Willem Dafoe starrer Body of Evidence, Madonna's fledgling Maverick empire sought to go art house and co-produce the $10 million-budgeted flick. Dangerous Game may have suffered as a result of being lumped in with that "slut" canon, even though it has since been largely praised by critics and fans as one of Madonna-as-actress' strong performances.

The script, originally titled "Snake Eyes," was basically discarded on the late-'92 set in favor of an intense, improvisational approach that yielded some nasty back-and-forth among the cast and crew, exposing a vulnerable and raw Madonna, both on-screen and reportedly off. While the film (ironically, about a troubled movie set) offers a glimpse into Madonna's psyche - or precisely because of this - She was less than thrilled with the finished product: angry phone calls and faxes to Ferrara, in addition to statements to the press, spoke of Madonna's fury at the work: "When I saw the cut film I was weeping ... If I'd known that was the movie I was making, I'd never have done it. [Ferrara] really fucked me over."

Madonna rebounded with The Girlie Show tour and the softer Bedtime Stories album.

The "Infidel" Strikes Again!

2006-09-08T19:41:00.000-04:00

Religious leaders the world over are trying their darndest to spread the gospel: Madonna continues to evoke Satan and use the crucifix in Her concert.

The reasons why these zealots are ridiculous for freaking out do not merit repeating. People, it's a glittery cross on which She is propped up by arm rests and an elevator. Hell, there's not even stigmata. Maybe next tour. <fingers crossed!>

My favorite of all the hysterically hateful - er, passionately devout - Bible thumpers has been this boob who got busted for calling in a fake bomb threat.

Thanks, Father, for putting the confession in the Confessions Tour.

Hypocrisy: 1

Organized religion: Zero

P.S. Boycott all you want. The tour is sold out.

Something 'Wicked' This Way Comes

2006-09-02T21:01:00.000-04:00

This recently-resurfaced picture from Madonna's appearance on MTV's "Total Request Live" last October is unintentionally hilarious.

Like, if someone asked you to name the witch depicted here ...
... You better have said the Wicked Witch of the West. (Elphaba is also a correct answer, Broadway geeks.)
The juxtaposition of the two divas is priceless. Ah, good times.

Remembrance of Zings Past

2006-08-31T10:56:00.000-04:00

“When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.”

It's Been a Long Summer ... But Not THIS Long

2006-08-30T17:39:00.000-04:00

Yo, Tom Petty ...

Madonna called. She wants Her look back.

Remember Irony?

2006-08-30T17:28:00.000-04:00

Top Five Songs Madonna Should Resurrect

2006-08-27T13:36:00.001-04:00

1. Take a Bow - C'mon, it's Her biggest hit and She has yet to sing it live (read: not lip-synched with Babyface on the American Music Awards in 1995). [ed. Okay, okay, this is officially retracted. She did sing live. Our bad.] Madonna should ditch the ban on "farewell" songs and perform this ballad, famous also for its cinematic video and prominence on Friends' first season cliffhanger. All of us must take an oath not to assume She's retiring if we hear Take a Bow. Bring it back, Madonna! "How was I supposed to know you'd break (you'd break, you'd break, you'd break) you'd break my heart?"

2. Hollywood - Or, this century's Vogue. Hopefully, Madonna won't continue to distance Herself from 2003's sorely underrated American Life album. I'll put my fanhood on the line and declare that Die Another Day, Nothing Fails, Nobody Knows Me, and Intervention will stand the test of time. Likewise, Hollywood is that album's Sorry - the shoulda-been-a-smash that everyone with an ear for solid pop music heard and loved. It got a few live performances during the promotion tour of the album, but we all know a self-serious Madonna wasn't super gung ho about putting Her all into those gigs (Tower Records? Really?). A remix of the song was the backing for a Re-Invention interlude, but think of the fun She can have with this in the future.

3. Cherish - The video was a slice of Herb Ritts Velveeta: Madonna cavorting on a beach with buff mer-men. Blond Ambition featured the tune, as well, and again trotted out the mermaid motif. This timeless song is rarely remembered amid the vast Madonna catalog of '80s output, when the likes of Like a Virgin and Like a Prayer overshadowed their album mates. But if Madonna feels She must again dip into the song well for another bucket o' oldies-but-goodies, She should look no further than this fluffy, feel-good confection. Without any fish theme, please.

4. Angel - Yeah, sure, Burning Up was fun two years ago, Lucky Star was a blast this summer, and Dress You Up might forever be stalled at the Reagan-era Virgin Tour, but what of Angel? Casual fans probably don't recognize the song from the mere mention of its title, but start singing "You must be an angel / I see it in your eyes ... " and anyone older than the age of 25 will take care of the rest.

5. Supernatural - It didn't make the cut for the Like a Prayer album and only found its home on the beloved Red Hot + Dance compilation. Can you imagine what would happen if Madge reconfigured it for the new century? Fans everywhere would be seeing ghosts. Simmering anew will be the debate on whether the song is about a fantasy affair with a spirit or the more earthly pleasures of, er, large members.

For more unsolicited opinion, re-visit the Top Five Songs Madonna Should Retire.

Top Five Songs Madonna Should Resurrect

2006-08-27T13:36:00.000-04:00

The Power of Ten

2006-08-25T17:17:00.000-04:00

While Madonna traveled from Germany to Denmark earlier this week, A Madge and Me and You quietly crept over 100 posts and welcomed its 10,000th visitor. Thanks, everyone!

Sons of Gods

2006-08-24T23:21:00.000-04:00

Wanna see what Lourdes and Rocco may look like when they are older?

Click here. Looks like little Lola - end of alliteration - may develop into quite a hottie.

(Thanks, Jen, for the link!)